Opposites A-Frack
Blazed and Confused
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Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!
Homer: A robot! With a catchphrase!

Bender: Oh, I can't do it. (kill Homer)
Lisa: What stopped you, Bender? Asimov's three laws of robotics?
Bender: You think robots care what some hack science fiction writer thinks? I killed Isaac Asimov on the way over here. Well, Isaac somebody.

Bart: Remember when this country didn’t suck, ‘cause I don’t.

Homer: Okay, so what are you?
Bart: Must be a secret government project.
Bender: No, what do I look like, a narc? My name is Bender, and I come from... (finger under his chin dramatically lights up like a flashlight) ...the future!
Homer: Prove it. What happens to Homer Simpson in the future?
Bender: I don’t know—you die?
Homer: Oh my God, he’s telling the truth! I have to take you to our civic leaders.
(Cut to inside Moe's.)

Homer: Listen, uh, I know you're a robot and incapable of emotion...
Bender: (sobbing) It's true! I'm empty inside! (breaks down crying on the bar.)

Professor Farnsworth: Ah, motherly love—why did we outlaw that?

Moe: Hey, this blade-rummy is alright!

Lisa: I can't believe you're all giving up without a fight.
Leela: Lisa, we're just a package delivery service.
Fry: And not a very good one.

Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!
Fry: That means it's bad!

Marge: Homer, I think there's someone downstairs!
Homer: Relax, Marge, it's probably just Homer coming home late from Moe's!

Homer: (to Bart) We'll have to set a trap, Bait. I mean Bart.

Homer: What's the robot version of bro-mance?
Bender: Ro-mance.

Lisa: Why must you kill my dad? Especially when cheeseburgers are doing the work for you?

Bender: (mumbling in his sleep) Kill all humans.
Homer: (whispering) Start with Flanders.

Bart: Wow, I'm doing the same jokes 1000 years later!

(Madison Cube Garden, containing the Bart creatures, is ejected into the void of space. Lisa, Leela, Zoidberg, Amy and Hermes cheer.)
Bart: You realize you're cheering the death of millions of my children.
(Lisa, Leela, Zoidberg, Amy and Hermes cheer.)

Homer: I was voted Employee of the Month as an April Fools Day joke.

Kent Brockman: A mysterious electrical storm is current wreaking havoc with our studio, but I'm not one of those brainless dolts who mindlessly reads a teleprompter-r-r-r-r Error 401 backslash backslash, colon reset C drive, shutting down.

Homer: (to Bender for drinking his beer) Don't drink my loved ones!

Homer: Here we are! (enters his home with Leela, Fry and Bender. Marge appears) Marge, I want you to meet Leela and Fry.
Marge: (Thinking) Don't mention her eye, don't mention her eye...
Leela: (Thinking) Don't mention her hair, don't mention her hair...
Marge: Eye... am so pleased to meet you!
Leela: Nice to be hair! (They look around embarrassed) Oh lord...

Lisa: Professor Farnsworth, I'm dying to know how you got here. Was it a time machine?
Professor Farnsworth: Little girl, time machines are physical impossibilities! We teleported through a singularity that I quantum entangled to Bender under the guise of fixing his collar.
Professor Frink: Yes, but how did Bender get here!?
Professor Farnsworth: With a time machine.
Lisa: But you just said that... (A machine makes a ding noise)
Professor Farnsworth: Sample's ready!

(The earth creatures crash into Omicron Persei 8. Lrrr and Ndnd are watching them destroy the planet)
Lrrr: Look at this mess!
Ndnd: (angry at him) It would've disintegrated upon entry if someone hadn't turned off the atmosphere last night.
Lrrr: I like it cold when I'm sleeping! Besides, these horrible Earth creatures are delicious. (eats some of the creatures)
Ndnd: The Johnsons will be here for dinner any minute! What happened to the handsome man I married!?
Lrrr: I ate him! Remember? (a spaceship lands)
Ndnd: Here they are. (Kang and Kodos leave the spaceship)
Kodos: Uh. Hmm... Hope we're not interrupting anything... (Lrrr burps, revealing one of the creatures' heads on his mouth)
Ndnd: I can't take anymore!! (runs away crying) I can't take it!
Lrrr: Perhaps the one of you that is female should go console her.
(Kang and Kodos stare at each other, and both of them go talk with Ndnd)

Season 25 Season 26 Quotes Season 27
Clown in the DumpsThe Wreck of the RelationshipSuper Franchise MeTreehouse of Horror XXVOpposites A-FrackSimpsoramaBlazed and ConfusedCovercraftI Won't Be Home for ChristmasThe Man Who Came to Be DinnerBart's New FriendThe Musk Who Fell to EarthWalking Big & TallMy Fare LadyThe Princess GuideSky PoliceWaiting for DuffmanPeeping MomThe Kids Are All FightLet's Go Fly a CootBull-EMathlete's Feat
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