Opposites A-Frack
Blazed and Confused
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Hedonismbot: Wiggle in. It gets comfortable.

Skinner: Students, each one of you has been assigned the mandatory honor of contributing to the time capsule, where your arcana will lie dormant until the 31st century and ...
Chalmers: By the time you finish talking, we're gunna be opening this damn capsule.

Nelson: I wish we could put this moment in the time capsule.
[Chalmers was shown videotaping the class and tossing it into the time capsule]
Chalmers: Consider it done.

Skinner: Ugh, how 'bout you, Bart? Let me guess. You forgot to bring something.
Bart: I'm offended you'd think I forgot. [looks through his desk] Let's see. [finds a sandwich] Ta-da.
Chalmers: Listen, boy. This is the only legacy you'll ever leave.
Bart: Better make this count. [blows his nose into the sandwich]
[Marge Simpson washes dishes at home and senses that Bart ruined her sandwich]
Marge: [gasp] My sandwich!

Kent Brockman: A mysterious electrical storm is current wreaking havoc with our studio, but I'm not one of those brainless dolts who mindlessly reads a teleprompter-r-r-r-r Error 401 backslash backslash, colon reset C drive, shutting down.

[Bender falls from the sky]
Homer: What the hell was that?
Lisa: Probably just another piece of Amerca's space junk falling out of orbit.
Bart: Remember when this country didn't suck? Cuz I don't.

Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass!
Homer: A robot! With a catchphrase!

Homer: Okay, so what are you?
Bart: Must be a secret government project.
Bender: Whoa, what do I look like? A nark?

Bender: I come from the future.
Homer: Prove it. What happens to Homer Simpson in the future.
Bender: I don't know. You die.
Homer: Oh ... my ... God.

Homer: We must take you to out civic leaders.
[Homer takes Bender to Moe's Tavern]

Homer: Listen, uh, I know you're a robot and incapable of emotion...
Bender: [sobbing] It's true! I'm empty inside! [breaks down crying on the bar.]

[Bender drinks beer and then burps out fire]
Moe: Hey, hibachi head. How you gunna pay for that?
Bender: Uh, let me just transfer some uh, electronic hyper credits into your register here.
[Bender sticks his finger into the cash register and pretends to pay]
Bender: Dingitty ding ding da-dingitty ding ding.

Bender: D'oh!

Homer: What's the robot version of bromance?
Bender: Romance.

Lisa: I see no reason to believe that Bender is from the future. Robotic technology today is very advanced.
Bender: Oh, really? Can your modern-day robots do this?
[Bender makes a sign that says "Happy Birthday Lisa" on his mouth]
Lisa: It's not my birthday, although Maggie's is pretty soon.
Bender: I can't do Maggie. The "G"s look like sixes.

Bender: Can your present-day robots do this? [takes off his head and sticks his tongue out like an idiot]
Professor Frink: Uh, no. No, they can not. Not sure why they'd want to.

[Bender gets ready to kill Homer but then stops]
Bender: Oh, I can't do it.
Lisa: What stopped you, Bender? Asimov's three laws of robotics?
Bender: You think robots care what some hack science fiction writer thinks? I killed Isaac Asimov on the way over here. Well, Isaac somebody.

Fry: Come on, Bender. Stabbitty stabbitty.

Lisa: Why must you kill my dad? Especially when cheeseburgers are doing the work for you?

Hermes: The monsters are stealing our office supplies!

Zoidberg: Hello, robot. Looks like everyone gets a turn to say something. This concludes my time.

Professor Farnsworth: The annoying girl may be helpful.

Professor Farnsworth: Leela, take Homer and explore this time period. Find out why people would ever pay for freemium games.
Homer: I'll explain. Okay, it starts free, right? ...

Homer: ... And that's why I owe Clash of Candies $20,000.

Homer: Marge, I'd like you to meet Leela and Fry.
Marge: [thought] Don't mention her eye. Don't mention her eye.
Leela: [thought] Don't mention her hair. Don't mention her hair.
Marge: Eye ... and so pleased to meet you.
Leela: Nice to be hair ...
[Both nervously chuckle]
Leela: Oh, lord.

Lisa: Professor Farnsworth, I'm dying to know how you got here. Was it a time machine?
Professor Farnsworth: Little girl, time machines are physical impossibilities. We teleported through a singularity that I quantum-entangled to Bender, under the guise of fixing his collar.
Professor Frink: Yes, but how did Bender get here?
Professor Farnsworth: With a time machine.

[Homer and Bender sleep on the couch and talk in their sleep]
Bender: [snore] Kill all humans.
Homer: [snore] Start with Flanders.

Professor Farnsworth: Good news, everyone!
Fry: That means it's bad.

Morbo: We interrupt this hologram to bring you an important bulleting. The horrific creatures destroying New New York have begun metamorphosing.
Linda: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
[A mutant rabbit kills and eats Linda and then turns into a Bart monster]
Bart Monster: Eat my shorts.
Bart: Wow, I'm doing the same jokes a thousand years later. Ay caramba!

Leela: Bury Bart in the hole!
Marge: I thought people in the future would be more full of peace and love, like in Epcot Center.
Leela: In our time, Epcot Center is a work farm for the weak.
Professor Farnsworth: Oh but it's not as crowded as the slave labor camps at Universal Studios.

Amy: Mayday! Mayday! [gasp] They got Scruffy!
Scruffy: Nope. Just got my mustache but life without a mustache ain't worth living.
[Scruffy kills himself]

Professor Farnsworth: Of all probable futures, this is the worst.
Marge: It is because my baby's not in it!
Professor Farnsworth: Motherly love. Why did we outlaw that?

Professor Farnsworth: You and Fry can bumble around together, while the rest of us give up and make peace with our dieties. As for me, I'm an Atheist. [prays] Oh, nobody's father, who art nowhere. I know you can't hear me. Completely ignore this prayer. Nothing art thou and nothing will thou ever be. Jesus was just a man.
Professor Farnsworth/Leela/Fry/Hermes/Amy/Lisa/Zoidberg/Bart/Homer: A man.

Hedonismbot: Well, I shall stay here for the decadents. There's no debauchery like end of the world debauchery. Your lips, my lips, apocalypse!

Lisa: I can't believe you're all giving up without a fight.
Leela: Lisa, we're just a package delivery service.
Fry: And not a very good one.

Lisa: They're evolving. Wow, that's a first for you, Bart.

[Madison Cube Garden, containing the Bart creatures, is ejected into the void of space; Lisa, Leela, Zoidberg, Amy and Hermes cheer]
Bart: You realize you're cheering the death of millions of my children.
[Lisa, Leela, Zoidberg, Amy and Hermes cheer]

Fry: Wow, it's working! I guess the instructions were in English.

[Bender changes Maggie's diaper and takes a bunch of money out of it]
Bender: [gives Maggie a handfull of the cash] Here's your cut.

Bender: Nice knowing you, meatbags. Have fun turning to dust.

[Homer pours some beer into Bender's mouth, while he waits out the millennium]
Bender: Thanks, pal.

(The earth creatures crash into Omicron Persei 8. Lrrr and Ndnd are watching them destroy the planet)
Lrrr: Look at this mess!
Ndnd: (angry at him) It would've disintegrated upon entry if someone hadn't turned off the atmosphere last night.
Lrrr: I like it cold when I'm sleeping! Besides, these horrible Earth creatures are delicious. (eats some of the creatures)
Ndnd: The Johnsons will be here for dinner any minute! What happened to the handsome man I married!?
Lrrr: I ate him! Remember? (a spaceship lands)
Ndnd: Here they are. (Kang and Kodos leave the spaceship)
Kodos: Uh. Hmm... Hope we're not interrupting anything... (Lrrr burps, revealing one of the creatures' heads on his mouth)
Ndnd: I can't take anymore!! (runs away crying) I can't take it!
Lrrr: Perhaps the one of you that is female should go console her.
(Kang and Kodos stare at each other, and both of them go talk with Ndnd)
Season 25 Season 26 Quotes Season 27
Clown in the DumpsThe Wreck of the RelationshipSuper Franchise MeTreehouse of Horror XXVOpposites A-FrackSimpsoramaBlazed and ConfusedCovercraftI Won't Be Home for ChristmasThe Man Who Came to Be DinnerBart's New FriendThe Musk Who Fell to EarthWalking Big & TallMy Fare LadyThe Princess GuideSky PoliceWaiting for DuffmanPeeping MomThe Kids Are All FightLet's Go Fly a CootBull-EMathlete's Feat
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