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The Princess Guide
Sky Police
Waiting for Duffman
Raphael: Uh, yeah, I've got a delivery here for, uh... Clancy Wiggins.
Chief Wiggum: Wiggins? No, no, no, it's Wiggum. Wiggins? That's not even a real name. What's a Wiggins? No, really, tell me. Wha-wha-what is that?
Raphael: Ok, so you're not Clancy Wiggins who ordered this, uh, Skymaster X5000 Jet Pack?
Chief Wiggum: (Chief Wiggum's lasagna drops out of his hand) Jet Pack? Of course I'm Clancy Wiggins, you idiot! (crawls over his table and signs the delivery) Chief. Clancy. Jet Pack.

Chief Wiggum: I'm not the police anymore. I'm the Sky Police.

Chief Wiggum: (sings) This is the end of Sky Police... (releases himself from the Jet Pack and falls on general Clancy Wiggins; watches the Jet Pack as it flies away) You were the wind beneath my ass.

Bart: God doesn't hear my prayers. If he did, I'd be at home on the couch playing video games. In a diaper.
Homer: Oh, God gets your prayers, but he just clicks "Delete" without reading them. Like e-mail updates from LinkedIn.

Gil: Don't worry reverend, according to your policy your church is covered for everything but acts of God.
Reverend Lovejoy: But we believe everything that happens everywhere is an act of God.
Gil: Then by jiminy, you're right! We're off the hook! Those Cornell men at the head office are gonna be doing the Salukis strut tonight. Go southern Illinois!
Gil, Homer and Bart: (In unison) Salukis strut!

Marge: I'm leaving for my fundraising meeting. Don't wait up.
Homer: Why are you churchos getting together so late? I'm asking because I'm supposed to care about things.
Marge: Well, to raise money, we're... putting on a review!
Homer: Well, you can't go wrong with reviews. Skits and songs? I'm entertained already.
Marge: Yeah. So, uh, I'm going out to reherse. The review.
Homer: Go. Go make magic. You just go.

Marge: Homer, Homer! We did it!
Homer: What, what... what'd you do?
Marge: We're going to save the church! I feel like celebrating! (starts kissing Homer)
Homer: But... (looks at calendar) it's not on the calendar! Ok, but if I'm sleepy at work tomorrow, I get to tell everyone why!

Homer: Oh boy, oh boy! 1am lovin' and 2am steak? Night marriage rules! I guess nothing gets the heart pumpin' like a church review.
Marge: Huh? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the review.
Homer: Oh, I got so many questions. What are the skits about?
Marge: Uhh... pop culture and current events.
Homer: How do you transition between scenes? Hard blackouts or spotlight fades?
Marge: Both.
Homer: Niiice. You know, it wouldn't be a review without songs. Tell me about one.
Marge: Ok. There's a song about, um... how... democrats and republicans can't get along. It's called "Cats & Dogs"! (Homer glares at Marge)
Homer: You got yourself one hell of a show, Marge! One hell of a show!

Agnes Skinner: Dump that money on the bed. I'm taking a Franklin bath!

Helen Lovejoy: Is that a woman's voice? Send her in! (Marge heaves)

Reverend Lovejoy: I'm sorry, Marge. Maybe your husband's suffering was all part of God's Plan.
Marge: God's Plan?! God isn't some video gamer up there controlling us like we were Pac-Man and Dig Dug. God isn't Sky Police! God didn't do this. I lied to my husband and made my kids lie too. We did this.


Season 25 Season 26 Quotes Season 27
Clown in the DumpsThe Wreck of the RelationshipSuper Franchise MeTreehouse of Horror XXVOpposites A-FrackSimpsoramaBlazed and ConfusedCovercraftI Won't Be Home for ChristmasThe Man Who Came to Be DinnerBart's New FriendThe Musk Who Fell to EarthWalking Big & TallMy Fare LadyThe Princess GuideSky PoliceWaiting for DuffmanPeeping MomThe Kids Are All FightLet's Go Fly a CootBull-EMathlete's Feat
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