TV Announcer: The following is a public service announcement. Excessive alcohol consumption can cause liver damage and cancer of the rectum.
Homer: Mmm... beer. (He goes to the fridge, and opens the shaken beer can)
Bart: APRIL FO- (An explosion occurs before he can finish his sentence)
Moe: I brought you a little present. (Gives Homer a can of beer)
Homer: No! Beer bring pain!
Barney: I can't stand to see him like this. (Shoves a pillow in Homer's face. He than lifts up a water fountain, throws it at a window, jumps out and runs away)
Moe: He really needs a girlfriend.
Homer: Oh Marge. What if I wind up as some vegetable watching TV on the couch. My important work will never be completed.
Homer: You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.
Dr. Hibbert: Mrs. Simpson, I'm afraid your husband is dead. (laughs) April Fools. He's very much alive, although I'm afraid he may never walk again.
Grampa: Coma!? Pfffft. Why, I go in and out of comas all the...[falls asleep] [wakes up] French toast, please.
Lisa: Is a coma painful?
Grampa: Oh, heck no. You relive long lost summers, kiss girls from high school. It's like one of those TV shows where they show a bunch of clips from old episodes.
Marge: You lost 5% of your brain.
Homer: Me lose brain? Uh-oh! (Everyone including Homer laughs) Why I laugh?
