The transcript of Space Patrol.
NOTE: A line here, specifically in Part #2: "Mortal Danger" is labelled as indistinct. It would be appreciated if it is fixed! Thank you.
Part #1: Space Patrol[]
[The children of the Simpson family are standing together.]
- Bart: I've got a great idea! Let's play "Space Patrol"!
- Lisa: I'll be "Lisuey: The Devil-May-Care Rocket Pilot".
[Lisa places a saucepan on her head.]
- Bart: Maggie can be "Magina", your spunky sidekick!
[Maggie appears with a saucepan on her head as well.]
- Lisa: And you'll be...
[Bart places a vase on his head, but it falls, covering his face.]
[Bart walks around during Lisa's monologue, and falls down.]
Part #2: Mortal Danger[]
- Bart: [muffled screaming]
- Lisa: I, Lisuey, see my lovable sidekick, Magina, in mortal danger, being liquidated by the horrible robot from Mars.
[Bart steps on Maggie (or Magina) cape. Lisa (or Lisuey), pulls Maggie from Bart (or Bartron), causing Bart to fall.]
- Lisa: Perhaps next time you will resist your evil ways, Bartron.
Part #3: Non-Functional[]
[Bart is still stuck in the vase, moving his arms while Lisa and Maggie poke him with brooms.]
- Bart: [muffled screaming]
- Lisa: Calm thyself, Bartron! Tell us where the magic space crystals that can save the galaxy are hidden!
[Lisa and Maggie wait for Bart to respond, but he continues to scream.]
- Lisa: Speak American, Bartron! We Earthlings understand not the Martians' [indistinct].
[Bart tries exiting, but Maggie trips him with a broom on the stairs.]
- Lisa: Magina has rendered Bartron's anti-gravity belt non-functional! Hail Magina!
Part #4: Release[]
[The children are in the living room. Lisa is now holding a hammer.]
- Bart: [muffled screaming, struggling to get the vase off]
- Lisa: Do I understand you correctly, Bartron? Do you wish me to release you from the helmet of evil thoughts with my space wand?
- Bart: [muffled] Yes, yes, yes!
- Lisa: I will do it, Bartron. But who knows what mysterious forces will be unleashed?
[Lisa breaks the vase with her hammer. Bart's face is revealed, and parts of the vase is still on his throat. His face appears to be slightly altered.]
- Lisa: Oh no. Inside the evil Bartron is a horrible mutant boy!
- Bart: [indistinct sounds]
[Maggie and Lisa are hiding behind the couch.]