The Great Louse Detective
Special Edna
The Dad Who Knew Too Little
Homer: Are we going to Disney World?
Bart: No.
Marge: Seaworld?
Bart: Nope, guess again.
Lisa: Universal Studios?
Bart: Sorry.
Grampa: Leisure World?
Bart: Sorry, Grampa.
Grampa: Leisure World?
Bart: Grampa, you're not even going.
Homer: Wait a minute. I know where we're going. (groans) It's horrible there.
[They fly over Epcot Center]

Speaker: Welcome - to the electric car of the future! Sponsored by the gasoline producers of America.
Electric Car: Hello, I am an electric car. I can't go very fast, or very far. And if you drive me, people will think you're gay!

Principal Skinner: I believe the only venue for me is the ride of broken dreams.
Homer: Oh, you mean the Enron ride. Let's go.

Enron Passenger: We're all gonna be rich!

Edna Krabappel: The topic for your research paper is World War I.
Bart: Was that the one with Hitler, or the one with Merlin?
Nelson: You idiot! Merlin was in Vietnam!

(Edna Krabappel finds out she won Teacher of the Year)
Edna Krabappel: I can´t believe it! This, after I accidentally showed the R-rated Romeo and Juliet. I thought that nipple would haunt me forever!

Edna Krabappel: You've got to stop putting your mother ahead of me! We have a date!
Principal Skinner: I'll be back in three hours. (sexily) Maybe less. (normal) But almost certainly more.

(Little Richard is on stage)
Homer: Purple Rain!
Little Richard: SHUT UP!
Homer: (excited) Michael Jackson told me to shut up.

Teacher of the Year Judge: This is running long, we will just go ahead and name a winner.
Simpsons: Edna! Edna!
Teacher of the Year Judge: Julio Estudiante, an inner city math teacher who taught teenage gang members that differential equations are more powerful than bullets.
Homer: What a rip, you all should be ashamed.

Principal Skinner: Willie, you're no stranger to the inner workings of the female mind.
Groundskeeper Willie: Aye. Willie's sent many a Vermont Teddy Bear.
Principal Skinner: Well, I'm a little worried that, uh, with all this attention Edna may meet someone better.
Groundskeeper Willie: Damn straight she will, ya brunch-eatin' popinjay! Yer woman's in Orlando, man! Ya can't take two steps there without fallin' into a tunnel of love!
Principal Skinner: Oh, I've been a fool. I've gotta go after her!
Groundskeeper Willie: (takes out his car keys) Take me car.
(Skinner takes the keys and jumps off the window into Willie's yellow sports car. He drives away from the school in determination. He hears a beeping sound. Willie shows up on the viewscreen.)
Groundskeeper Willie: Make sure you fill it up with Techron gas. You don't want a case of the knocks. (ends transmission)

Principal Skinner: I'd better pee on this fire. As principal, I'd like to say a few words about what this wonderful woman means to this school and me. Webster's Dictionary defines Mrs. Krabappel as excuse me, I have an emergency page from mother. This press conference is over.

Season 13 Season 14 Quotes Season 15
Treehouse of Horror XIIIHow I Spent My Strummer VacationBart vs. Lisa vs. the Third GradeLarge MargeHelter ShelterThe Great Louse DetectiveSpecial EdnaThe Dad Who Knew Too LittleThe Strong Arms of the MaPray AnythingBarting OverI'm Spelling as Fast as I CanA Star is Born-AgainMr. Spritz Goes to WashingtonC.E. D'oh'Scuse Me While I Miss the SkyThree Gays of the CondoDude, Where's My Ranch?Old Yeller-BellyBrake My Wife, PleaseThe Bart of WarMoe Baby Blues
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