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Homer-doh D'oh! This article is a stub. You can help the wiki by embiggening it.
Homer: Marmaduke was horrible today! Also, Marge is in therapy, and she didn't even tell me.
Moe: Whoa! She crossed a line. How did you find out?
Homer: Spied on her with a hidden camera! She thinks I'm selfish, She thinks I don't spend enough time with the kids!
Moe: Well, that's crazy. Come on, you work your butt off in a radioactive hellhole, and what do you get? Not one lousy superpower.
Homer: I guess the only choice is to come clean with her and tell her what I know, and how I know.
Moe: Whoa whoa, bad idea, no no!! Chicks do not like finding out they're being spied on. I speak from looooooooooooooong experience. No, you got to make it seem like you found out by accident there. Hum... ooh! Next week you schedule an appointment with the therapist after hers, and then you bump into Midge in the waiting room there.
Homer: Moe, that's great! How do you get your ideas?
Moe: Pretty much all my friends are divorced guys.
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Smithers: Sir, I'm concerned about your sudden generosity. The doctor said to bring you in right away if you display kindness and warmth.
Burns (smirking): Oh, don't worry. This Santa still has Claws. 
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Burns: As of now, each of these nuclear nitwits is wearning a video camera, with a direct feed to me!
Smithers (gasps): You're spying on them?
Burns: Smithers, how much did this company lose to office supply theft last year?
Smithers (calculating): 7,043 dollars?
Burns: Yes, well, no more of that! Thanks to this 26 million dollar surveillance system, beware rabbits! I spy with my transplanted eyes. Oh, and I forgot to show you the best feature. (Floor panel opens, a button pad comes out) Each of these buttons represents an employee. When I press it, he or she dies. (bashing buttons) What's wrong with this thing?
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Nelson: I'll have yours (your Valentine's Day card) now, Simpson.
Ga'Hoole Owl: Bing Ga'Hoole, we will break his freakin' knees!
Bart: No. No Valentine for you, Nelson.
Nelson: Excuse me?
Bart: I'll give a Valentine to a loser. I would give a Valentine to a dork. I would even give a valentine to a girl, but I won't give a valentine to a bully!
Nelson: Here's what's gonna happen.You have one week to make me the best valentine any kid ever got?
Bart: And what happens if I don't?
Nelson: Simpson, there's gonna be a heart in my hand: either paper or yours! 
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Homer: Wait, something's wrong. (proceeds to take off pants)
(Back at Mr. Burns' office)
Burns: Oh dear God.
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Homer (eating popcorn)
Burns: Who are you?!
Homer (gasps): Mr. Burns!
Burns: Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Burns, I won't bother you again.


Season 24 Season 25 Quotes Season 26
HomerlandTreehouse of Horror XXIVFour Regrettings and a FuneralYoloLabor PainsThe Kid is All RightYellow SubterfugeWhite Christmas BluesSteal This EpisodeMarried to the BlobSpecs and the CityDiggsThe Man Who Grew Too MuchThe Winter of His ContentThe War of ArtYou Don't Have to Live Like a RefereeLuca$Days of Future FutureWhat to Expect When Bart's ExpectingBrick Like MePay PalThe Yellow Badge of Cowardge
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