Blood Feud
Stark Raving Dad
Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington
Doctor: Mrs. Simpson, I'm sorry, but your husband suffers from a persecution complex, extreme paranoia, and bladder hostility.
Marge: Doctor, if you just talk to him for five minutes without mentioning our son, Bart, you'd see how sane he is.
Doctor: You mean there really is a Bart?! Good Lord!

"Michael Jackson": Bart, are you not concerned that Lisa is upset? When I was growing up and did not have a lot of money, do you know what I did when one of my sisters' birthdays came up?
Bart: You stiffed them?
"Michael Jackson": No! I wrote them a song.
Bart holds up a cover of Michael Jackson's Thriller to show that Michael Jackson is black
Bart: Hello, Looney Tunes, this is Michael Jackson! Can you see the difference?
"Michael Jackson": Bart, either Michael Jackson is in a recording studio in Los Angeles or he is right here in your house offering to help you. It is up to you as to what you believe.

At the mental hospital, Homer is among a circle of patients gathered to explain their cases.
Dave: I used to work as a VP in an insurance company, but then one morning when I woke up, I couldn't leave the house.
Homer: Was the door locked?
Dave: No, I just couldn't face what was out there.
Homer: Was it raining?
Nurse: No, Homer. Dave suffers from agoraphobia: a fear of open areas and crowds. Please, Dave go on.
Dave: Anyway, I knew I just couldn't take that drive to work.
Homer: Were you out of gas?
Everyone stares at him.
Homer: (scoffs) Baby.

Homer calls home from mental institution.
Bart: Joe's Taxidermy. You snuff 'em, we stuff 'em.
Homer: Boy, when I get home, I'm gonna wrap my hands around your neck and...
People look at Homer.
Homer: ...Smother you with kisses.
Bart: Homer, whatever they've got you on, cut the dose.
Season 2 Season 3 Quotes Season 4
Stark Raving DadMr. Lisa Goes to WashingtonWhen Flanders FailedBart the MurdererHomer DefinedLike Father, Like ClownTreehouse of Horror IILisa's PonySaturdays of ThunderFlaming Moe'sBurns Verkaufen der KraftwerkI Married MargeRadio BartLisa the GreekHomer AloneBart the LoverHomer at the BatSeparate VocationsDog of DeathColonel HomerBlack WidowerThe Otto ShowBart's Friend Falls in LoveBrother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.

Watch The Simpsons

Watch now
Available On