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Stealing First Base |
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- Ms. Hoover: There was a mix-up with your test. You got an A+++. Seems the F belonged to Ralph.
- Ralph: I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers!
- Bart: I'm sorry!
- Nikki: Ugh! You're always apologizing.
- Nikki: What do you mean about 'us'?
- Bart: Well, like, uh, aren't you my girlfriend now?
- Bart: I'm not gonna let you hurt me anymore.
- Skinner: Any physical contact violates our school's no-touch policy.
- Skinner: I prefer dead child to a lawsuit from your parents.
- Kevin: Let's me touch your face. That's way, I can see you with my finger. Eww! I said your face, not your butt!
- Bart: Nikki, thanks for saving my life.
- Nikki: Look, can we just pretend that never happened? I don't want everyone at School to go around thinking I like you.
- Bart: I don't get you. You're hot, you're cold. What is your deal?
- Nikki: Bart, you have some things to learn about women.
- (shuts locker door)
- Nikki: And I will never tell you what they are.
- Bart: I give up! Smell ya later. (walks off)
- Nikki: (kisses Bart on the cheek)
- Bart: I love you!
- Skinner: So the lesson is, children—
- Michelle Obama: I'll tell them what the lesson is.
- Chalmers: He's our Joe Biden.
- Michelle Obama: Understood.
- Skinner: I'm Bart Simpson. Disruptive fourth grader.
- Homer: We finally caught one of Bart's school plays.
- Marge: That's not Bart. It's Principal Skinner. Bart's sitting right next to you. (Points to Bart next to him)
- Homer: (Staring hard at Skinner) Yeah, now that I look closer, that guy couldn't fool anybody.
- Skinner: Shut up, fatso.
- Homer: Why you little...! (rushes on stage and starts strangling Skinner and grunting angrily. Chalmers then sends Martin & Wendell to restrain Homer and they do so)
- Homer: Thanks to our new GPS, I can get to school in no time. (His car then departs home for school)
- GPS Voice: Turn right in 50 m.
- Homer: Oh, metres?!
- Lisa: Dad, a metre is 3" longer than a yard (3 ft), which is 36", so 50 / (39 x 36) = ...
- GPS Voice: You have missed your turn. Recalculating... Turn right in 5 m.
- (On top of a slide, with both of their skateboards)
- Nikki: ...sooo, what should we do now?
- Grampa: (appears as part of Bart's mind) Kiss her, ya idjit! (Bart does so and kisses Nikki)
- Nikki: (recoils in disgust) UGH! Bart Simpson kissed me! (gasps) Oh my God, and that was my first kiss... that will always be my first kiss... EWW!
- (Bart's skateboard slides off backwards, Bart flees)
- Nelson: (to Kevin) Say "Ha Ha".
- Kevin: (points at Bart) Haw haw.
- Nelson: That was great! Really great!