Summer of 4 Ft. 2/Quotes

Bart: This is the worst Fourth of July ever. I hate America.

Erin: Who does he think he is, with that slingshot in his back pocket? Dennis the Menace?

(The school bell rings)

Milhouse: School's out! Up yours, Krabappel!

(Milhouse then runs out of the classroom)

Krabappel: I'm glad the rest of you remembered that summer doesn't start until end of the day, (points to a clock that reads 9:00 A.M.) not at the beginning.

Lou: (enters the classroom with Milhouse) Here you go, Ma'am.

Krabappel: Quick work! How did you know he was gonna run?

Lou: We got someone on the inside.

(Several students, including Nelson Muntz and one of the twins, glare angrily at Martin Prince, who can only manage a sheepish grin.)

(Ned Flanders begins work on Homer's sump pump problem)

Ned: Hello Mr. Brown-ground, whatcha got for me?

Lisa: (lamenting her lack of friends) These are my only friends. Grown-up nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he's kissed more boys than I ever will.

Marge: Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.

(Lisa walks towards the town library)

Lisa: Hey a library! No I can't, that's the old nerdy Lisa.

(she then imagines the literary figures coming to life starting with Pippi Longstocking)

Pippi: Lisa, read about my adventures in the South Seas and make me live again!

(Eustace Tilley from The New Yorker then appears on the left)

Eustace: We got periodicals on microfiche!

(Alice and the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland then appears on the right)

Alice: (timidly) Won't you join our tea party? It'd be ever so- don't do it Lisa, it's a trick!

(Suddenly, the Mad Hatter grabs Alice, and holds a loaded gun to her temple)

Alice: Run! Run!

Lisa: Like y'know, whatever.

Lisa: (After a seagull interrupts her meeting the new kids) "You don't control the birds. You will someday, but not now."

Milhouse: Hey Bart! Lisa's skateboarding with some cool kids...and she looks like Blossom!

(While playing the 'Mystery Date' game in the Flanders' beach house, Homer notices the similarity of the 'dud' character to Milhouse)

Homer: Hey! He looks just like you, poindexter!

Valu-Mart Clerk: The M-320: Celebrate the independence of your nation by blowing up a small part of it.

(Marge is digging through the groceries Homer bought at the store)

Marge: Gee, I don't know what you've got planned for tonight Homer, but count me out! Didn't you buy any meat?

Homer: (patting the M-320) He he he, This baby's sure to kill somethin'!

(Lisa's friends have decorated Homer's car with sea shells and starfish, the shells spelling Lisa Rules)

Lisa: This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever-----

(Homer's shadow appears clearly showing Homer is furious)

Homer: Sweet Merciful crap! My car!

[The family leaves for the vacation]

Marge: Wave bye bye to our house Maggie. Bye bye tree.

Homer: Bye bye job.

Bart: Bye bye toothbrush.

Lisa: Bye bye Lisa Simpson.

Bart: When the hell are we getting to...where the hell are we going?

Marge: Mmm. It's called Little Pwagmattasquarmsettport. It's known as America's scrod basket.

Bart: I thought Springfield was America's scrod basket.

Marge: No, Springfield is America's crud bucket. At least according to Newsweek.

(Lisa is eating in the kitchen and Marge is in the background. Bart enters)

Bart: Hey Lis. (sits beside her) I guess my little yearbook stunt was pretty rough but it did teach you a lesson. It's important to be yourself. (Marge leaves)

Lisa: (Grabs Bart by his shirt and whispers to him) I know exactly who I am. I am the sister of a rotten, jealous, mean, little sneak! (grabs a syrup bottle) You cost me my only friends! (holds the bottle on top of Bart's head, threatening him) You've ruined my life! (squeezes the bottle, but Marge re-enters the room. Lisa starts eating again and Bart looks at Lisa scared)

Marge: Hey kids! there's a carnival tonight!

Milhouse: (appears from behind a cereal box) Oh boy, a carnival!

Homer: (in front of the Li'l Valu-Mart) Ah! I bet this place sells illegal fireworks. Just go in and act casual like you buy 'em all the time. (enters the store and talks to the clerk) Hi. Um- Let me have one of those porno magazines, large box of condoms a bottle of Old Harper, a couple of those panty shields (whispering) and some illegal fireworks AND one of those disposable enemas. no, make it two.

Li'l Valu-Mark Clerk: My apologies, sir, but the sale of fireworks is prohibited in this state and is punishable by- (a costumer leaves the store) Follow me.

Homer: SWEET, MERCIFUL CRAP! MY CAR!!