Brawl in the Family
Sweets and Sour Marge
Jaws Wired Shut
Lou: Even this promotional Johnny Depp from the movie "Chocolat"?
Chief Wiggum: Sure, we melted for him. Now he's gonna do likewise.
[Lou throws the chocolate figure in the fire; the figure melts with is face turning into a screaming face and groaning]
Chief Wiggum: Alright, time to throw in the Butterfingers!
[Eddie throw a bunch of Butterfinger bars in the fire; the bars don't melt and glow radiation, then bounce off the fire, with one of them landing into Eddie's hand]
Eddie: Hm, it's not even singed.
Chief Wiggum: Even the fire doesn't want them.

Suicidal man: (sad) Goodbye, cruel world. (lands on the ball of fellow Springfield), (cheered up) Hello, ironic twist!

Lenny: Well, I say the most clothespins a man could attach to his face is 87.
Carl: You counting the neck?
Lenny: You know I am.
Carl: All right outside.
(Suddenly, Homer appears, bathed in golden light, holding the Duff record book over his head)
Homer: Peace, my brothers. All shall be looked up. (He looks through the books) Let's see ... most clothespins swallowed, inserted, here we go -- clipped to face and neck: 116. (He finds a picture of a man with the pins on his head.)
Lenny: Oh. Geez, I was wrong. But I ain't angry.
Carl: And I'm magnanimous in victory.

Garth Motherloving: Hey, Marge, I'm not up on the current slang. Do the kids still say, "Get the hell out of my office?"

Gil: You don't want old Gil going door to door, I've made too many enemies selling suckless vacuum cleaners and Rick James Bibles.

Mr. Burns: Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
Apu: I'm rowing as fast as I can, sir.
Mr. Burns: No, I'm having one.

Bart: Why would Duff Beer put out a book?
Lisa: It was originally published to settle arguments in taverns.
Homer: She said "tavern"! I'm going to Moe's! (Runs away)
Marge: I never agreed to that rule!

Season 12 Season 13 Quotes Season 14
Treehouse of Horror XIIThe Parent RapHomer the MoeA Hunka Hunka Burns in LoveThe Blunder YearsShe of Little FaithBrawl in the FamilySweets and Sour MargeJaws Wired ShutHalf-Decent ProposalThe Bart Wants What it WantsThe Lastest Gun in the WestThe Old Man and the KeyTales from the Public DomainBlame it on LisaWeekend at Burnsie'sGump RoastI Am Furious (Yellow)The Sweetest ApuLittle Girl in the Big TenThe Frying GamePoppa's Got a Brand New Badge
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