T.G.I. McScratchy's Waiter 1 is an employee at T.G.I. McScratchy's Goodtime Foodrinkery. He repeatedly counts down as if it is New Year's Day. Marge Simpson remarks that his life must be very fun, but he simply responds with, "Kill me now." It is implied he followed through with his suicide plan, as a scientist later requests a replacement waiter.