|| Teenage Mutant Milk-caused Hurdles
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- Carol Berrera: (to the fourth grade) Good morning, crew. I am proud to be here educating my country. (the students gasp)
- Martin: (tied to a skateboard and with an apple on his mouth) For you, teacher.
- (he puts the apple on her table. she grabs a knife, cuts the ropes tying Martin to the skate and stabs the apple)
- Carol Berrera: Because if there's one thing I learned in combat, it's that the most powerful weapon is knowledge!
- Nelson: What's the second most powerful weapon?
- Carol Berrera: Shoulder-mounted anti-tank missile. Duh.
- Milhouse: Did you ever American Sniper someone?
- Carol Berrera: That's really not appropriate for me to say. (winks)
- Martin: How many hospitals did you help build?
- Carol Berrera: Negative three.
- Jimmy: That's the best milk I've ever had!
- Scientist: (laughs) You said "milk". We can't legally.
- (Lisa gets a message on her cellphone)
- Lisa: Oh my god! I just got invited to my first third grade party!
- Homer: Are the parents gonna be home?
- Lisa: Yes.
- Homer: Pft! Lame!!
- Bart: Guys, I need to sharpen my mustaches. Which is better? A, (changes it to a downwards position) or B? (Keeps changing it between upwards and downwards) A or B? A or B? A or B? A or... B?
- Lisa: B.
- Marge: A.
- Homer: N.
- Lisa: NOOOO! No, no, no, nooooo!
- Bart: What happened? Did jazz died?
- Lisa: (enters Homer and Marge's bedroom) Look at me!! (the camera turns around, revealing her face with acne)
- Marge: Acne? But she's only eight!
- Lisa: (worried) Somehow I'm becoming the Squeaky-Voiced Teen! (with a squeaky voice) Do you want fries with that? (back to her normal voice) What am I saying?
- Bart: I, too, was visited by the Ghost of Puberty Present. I've got a starter 'stache! Next, I'm a loser, then I'm a creep, then I'm a perv! I've got to buy a van.
- Lisa: (cries) This isn't fair, I'm not ready for my awkward years. This is my happy childhood, for crying out loud!
- Lisa: (thinking) Oh, my God, I'm popular! Hope this doesn't go to my head. It went right to my head!! Aaaah!!
- Marge: Homer, I'll fix up Lisa and you teach Bart how to shave!
- Homer: You got it! But,(camera zooms in)there will be blood!
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