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Episode
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The Girl Code
Teenage Mutant Milk-caused Hurdles
Much Apu About Something
Homer-doh D'oh! There are some missing quotes in this article or section. You can help the wiki by embiggening it.
Carol Berrera: (to the fourth grade) Good morning, crew. I am proud to be here educating my country. (the students gasp)
Martin: (tied to a skateboard and with an apple on his mouth) For you, teacher.
(he puts the apple on her table. she grabs a knife, cuts the ropes tying Martin to the skate and stabs the apple)
Carol Berrera: Because if there's one thing I learned in combat, it's that the most powerful weapon is knowledge!
Nelson: What's the second most powerful weapon?
Carol Berrera: Shoulder-mounted anti-tank missile. Duh.
Milhouse: Did you ever American Sniper someone?
Carol Berrera: That's really not appropriate for me to say. (winks)
Martin: How many hospitals did you help build?
Carol Berrera: Negative three.

Jimmy: That's the best milk I've ever had!
Scientist: (laughs) You said "milk". We can't legally.

(Lisa gets a message on her cellphone)
Lisa: Oh my god! I just got invited to my first third grade party!
Homer: Are the parents gonna be home?
Lisa: Yes.
Homer: Pft! Lame!!
Bart: Guys, I need to sharpen my mustaches. Which is better? A, (changes it to a downwards position) or B? (Keeps changing it between upwards and downwards) A or B? A or B? A or B? A or... B?
Lisa: B.
Marge: A.
Homer: N.

Lisa: NOOOO! No, no, no, nooooo!
Bart: What happened? Did jazz died?
Lisa: (enters Homer and Marge's bedroom) Look at me!! (the camera turns around, revealing her face with acne)
Marge: Acne? But she's only eight!
Lisa: (worried) Somehow I'm becoming the Squeaky-Voiced Teen! (with a squeaky voice) Do you want fries with that? (back to her normal voice) What am I saying?
Bart: I, too, was visited by the Ghost of Puberty Present. I've got a starter 'stache! Next, I'm a loser, then I'm a creep, then I'm a perv! I've got to buy a van.
Lisa: (cries) This isn't fair, I'm not ready for my awkward years. This is my happy childhood, for crying out loud!

Lisa: (thinking) Oh, my God, I'm popular! Hope this doesn't go to my head. It went right to my head!! Aaaah!!

Marge: Homer, I'll fix up Lisa and you teach Bart how to shave!
Homer: You got it! But,(camera zooms in)there will be blood!


Season 26 Season 27 Quotes Season 28
Every Man's DreamCue DetectivePufflessHalloween of HorrorTreehouse of Horror XXVIFriend with BenefitLisa with an "S"Paths of GloryBarthoodThe Girl CodeTeenage Mutant Milk-caused HurdlesMuch Apu About SomethingLove is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-He-CH4Gal of Constant SorrowLisa the VeterinarianThe Marge-ian ChroniclesThe Burns CageHow Lisa Got Her Marge BackFland CanyonTo Courier with LoveSimprovisedOrange is the New Yellow
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