|| The Amazing Colossal Homer
- Homer: Well, boy. How big am I?
- Bart: Whoa! 263 pounds a new record! Way to go, Homer!
- Homer: D'oh!
- Mr. Burns: Unnhhh! Smithers!
- Smithers: You bellowed, sir?
- Mr. Burns: Deal with this blasted annoyance! And next time, get the easy-opening kind!
- Smithers: Uh, this is the easy-opening kind, sir.
- Mayor Quimby: Grettings, my fellow movie lovers, we are gathered today to honor a Hollywood legend. The star of such films as "Jagged Attraction" and "Look Who's Still Oinking". His 24 films have grossed a total of over $900 in Springfield alone. I hereby delacre this "Troy McClure day."
- Homer: I'm nervous, Marge. I've never been good at tests.
- Marge: These weren't that kind of test, Homer.
- Smithers: The test result's are back. They're all perfectly normal.
- Marge: And look, Homey according to this, you've lost three punds.
- Homer: Woohoo! Dounts, here I come.
- Mr. Burns: Imagine! Charles Montgomery Burns standing astride the globe! They'll name countries after me! I'll be like the Jolly Green Giant, only not green and not jolly!.
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