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The Amendment Song

The Amendment Song is a Memphis Soul style parody of the popular Schoolhouse Rock! song "I'm Just a Bill", even going so far as using the original singer, Jack Sheldon. It is briefly shown as a replacement for Itchy & Scratchy on The Krusty the Clown Show in the episode "The Day the Violence Died". The lyrics were written by John Swartzwelder and the music by Alf Clausen. It is the eleventh track on the album Songs in the Key of Springfield. The boy was voiced by Tress MacNeille/Nancy Cartwright.

Lyrics

Boy:
Hey, who left all this garbage lying on the steps of Congress?
Amendment:
I'm not garbage.
I'm an Amendment-to-Be,
Yes, an Amendment-to-Be,
And I'm hopin' that they'll ratify me.
There's a lot of flag burners
Who have got too much freedom,
I wanna make it legal
For policemen to beat 'em.
'Cos there's limits to our liberties,
Least I hope and pray that there are,
'Cos those liberal freaks go too far.
Boy:
But why can't we just make a law against flag burning?
Amendment:
Because that law would be unconstitutional.
But if we changed the Constitution...
Boy:
Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment:
Now you're catching on!
Boy:
But what if they say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Amendment:
Then I'll crush all opposition to me
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back
I'll say that he's gay
Big Fat Guy:
Good news, Amendment! They ratified 'ya. You're in the U.S. Constitution!
Amendment:
Oh, yeah!
Door's open, boys!
Cultural References
  • One of the amendments does a Three Stooges Curly-esque 'Woop-woop-woop" while storming into Congress.
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