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The Money Jar
The Art Museum
Zoo Story

Marge: I've always wanted to introduce you kids to the world of art. It's so enriching!

Bart: [raises his hand]  I have an announcement to make:  I'm bored.
Homer: Well, maybe we're all bored Bart, but we're going to cooperate anyway.
Lisa: Yeah, Bart.
Bart: Oh, brother.
Marge: Now, over here...

% Bart turns his head and his eyes pop wide up.

Bart: Ay, Carumba.
Homer: Bart.
Bart: Whoooooooooooooooa, momma.
Homer: Bart.

% We see what has got Bart's attention:  A painting of a nude.

Bart: [growls]  Now <that's> what I call the enriching world of art...

% Homer covers Bart's mouth and eyes, then sees the painting.

H: Not bad, not bad at all...

% Marge angrily covers Homer's mouth and eyes.  Meanwhile, Lisa and
% Maggie admire a male nude statue's butt.
% Marge leads the family through an exhibit of ancient artifacts.

Marge: Let's try for a little dignified behavior.  This <is> the art museum.
Homer: She's right, you little slobs.

% Marge indicates an exhibit.  In the background, a large urn totters on its
% pedestal as Lisa's arms reach out towards it.  Homer's eyes bug out.

Marge: Now here, we have some...
Homer: Lisa!
Lisa: Aaaagh!
Marge+Homer: Gasp!

% Lisa covers her mouth in fright as the urn tips off its pedestal.
% (*whoosh*)  Maggie zips in and catches it.

Marge+Homer: Whew!

% Bart's head pops out of the urn.

B: Well, that was close.  When do we go home and watch TV?

% Homer pounds his fist into his hand.

H: Bart...
B: Careful, Dad...

% Bart ducks back into the urn.

B: This thing's priceless.

% Driving home.

Homer: [angrily]  That's the <last> time I take you kids to the art museum!
Bart: Don't have a cow, Dad.
Lisa: Yeah, Dad.
Homer: Why you little...
Marge: Now calm down, Homer.
   The kids just aren't mature enough yet to appreciate fine art.
Bart: Au contraire, Mom.
Lisa: We find the world of art quite enriching.

% Bart holds up a nude.

Bart: As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of becoming a collector.

% Homer turns around, sees the painting, and shrieks.


Shorts: Season 1 Shorts: Season 2 Quotes Shorts: Season 3
Making FacesThe FuneralMaggie's BrainFootballHouse of CardsBart and Dad Eat DinnerSpace PatrolBart's HaircutWorld War IIIThe Perfect CrimeScary StoriesGrandpa & the KidsGone Fishin'SkateboardingThe PagansThe ClosetThe AquariumFamily PortraitBart's HiccupsThe Money JarThe Art MuseumZoo Story