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The Art Museum |
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Marge: I've always wanted to introduce you kids to the world of art. It's so enriching!
Bart: [raises his hand] I have an announcement to make: I'm bored.
Homer: Well, maybe we're all bored Bart, but we're going to cooperate anyway.
Lisa: Yeah, Bart
. Bart: Oh, brother.
Marge: Now, over here...
[Bart turns his head and his eyes pop wide up.]
Bart: Ay, Carumba!
Homer: Bart.
Bart: Whoooooooooooooooa, momma!
Homer: Bart!
[We see what has got Bart's attention: a painting of a nude woman.]
Bart: [growls] Now that's what I call the enriching world of art-
[Homer covers Bart's mouth and eyes, then sees the painting.]
Homer: Not bad, not bad at all-
[Marge angrily covers Homer's mouth and eyes. Meanwhile, Lisa and Maggie admire a male nude statue's butt. Marge leads the family through an exhibit of ancient artifacts.]
Marge: Let's try for a little dignified behavior. This is the art museum.
Homer: She's right, you little slobs.
[Marge indicates an exhibit. In the background, a large urn totters on its pedestal as Lisa's arms reach out towards it. Homer's eyes bug out.
Marge: Now here, we have some exquisite-
Homer: Lisa!
[Lisa screams. Marge and Homer gasp. Lisa covers her mouth in fright as the urn tips off its pedestal. Maggie zips in and catches it. Marge and Homer sigh in relief]
Bart: [pops out of the urn] Well, that was close. When do we go home and watch TV?
Homer: Bart... [pounds his fist into his hand]
Bart: Careful, Dad. [ducks back into the urn] This thing's priceless.
[Driving home]
Homer: [angrily] That's the last time I take you kids to the art museum!
Bart: Don't have a cow, Dad.
Lisa: Yeah, Dad.
Homer: Why you little-!
Marge: Now calm down, Homer. The kids just aren't mature enough yet to appreciate fine art.
Bart: Au contraire, Mom.
Lisa: We find the world of art quite enriching.
[Bart holds up the nude from the art museum.]
Bart: As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of becoming a collector.
[Homer turns around, sees the painting, and shrieks, knowing his kids just committed a crime.]