Simpsons Wiki
Simpsons Wiki
Half-Decent Proposal
The Bart Wants What it Wants
The Lastest Gun in the West
Marge: For God sakes, Homer! Give them back their flame!
Homer: No! The Olympics have preempted my favorite shows for the last time.
Bart: You can always find your favorite shows next month.
Homer: You wait till next month! You wait till next month!
Marge: (groaning) every four years.

Lisa: Springfield Preparatory School? Dad, you told me there were no private schools in Springfield.
Homer: But knowing about it would make you want to go here.

(Homer and Marge are both grunting, trying to pull Lisa away from the gate)
Lisa: No, I belong here! Please!
Homer: Don't worry, honey. We can't afford this now, but when it's time for college, I promise my darling daughter can go to the finest school there is. In South Carolina.
Lisa: Oh! I will not be a Gamecock!
Homer: You will too!
Lisa: No!
Homer: Go Gamecocks!

(Milhouse and Bart have a fight and disrupt a curling match)
Female Announcer: Two young Yankee Doodles have turned this match into a dandy.
Male Announcer: Both our viewers must be thrilled.

Greta: I'm looking for someone more masculine.
Milhouse: I told you, I don't know how that scrunchy got in my hair!

Greta: I can't believe he dumped me!
Wolfcastle: In my movies, this is where I would go berserk.
Greta: Dad, this isn't a movie!

Homer: (about Rainer Wolfcastle's SUV) What kind of mileage does it get?
Rainer Wolfcastle: One highway, zero city.

Homer: Ouch! I sat on something sharp!
Rainier Wolfcastle: That's just Lara Flynn Boyle.
Homer: laughs I have a boil on my ass.

Homer: (giving Bart advice about women) Never give them nicknames like Jumbo or Boxcar, and always get receipts. It makes you look like a business guy.

Principal Skinner: (meeting with Willie privately in his office) Now, Willie, don't tell anyone I'm trying my stand-up comedy act tonight. If the students find out I'm performing in floppies, I'll never live it down.
Willie: I won't tell if ye put me on the guest list.
Skinner: Alright. (pulls out a notebook and pencil from his coat) Plus one?
Willie: (lowers his head sadly) Nay.
(Cut to just outside Skinner's office door, where Bart and Milhouse are eavesdropping.)
Skinner: (jotting down on his notebook) Now, I'll give you directions starting from the Simpson house.
Bart: Oh, ho, we are so there.
Milhouse: Aren't you supposed to take Greta to the dance tonight?
Bart: Hmm, yeah. Maybe I should keep my promise.
Skinner: I just hope the audience is kind, because my material is weak and, uh, and I have that bladder thing.
Bart: That's it. I'm blowing off the dance. This is the biggest thing that happened to me since chocolate milk!
Milhouse: They've got chocolate milk now?

Homer: Canada? Why should we leave America for America Jr.?

Lisa: (to Principal Skinner as he steals supplies from the private school science room) I know we need school supplies, but this is just stealing.
Principal Skinner: Welcome to Dick Cheney's America.

Homer: (while giving Bart advice about women) Never give them nicknames like Jumbo or Boxcar and always get receipts. It makes you look like a business guy.
Greta: Forget it Bart, I'm moving to Toronto in 30 minutes.
Bart: *GASP* you're going to Spain!?
Greta: Goodbye Bart.

Season 12 Season 13 Quotes Season 14
Treehouse of Horror XIIThe Parent RapHomer the MoeA Hunka Hunka Burns in LoveThe Blunder YearsShe of Little FaithBrawl in the FamilySweets and Sour MargeJaws Wired ShutHalf-Decent ProposalThe Bart Wants What it WantsThe Lastest Gun in the WestThe Old Man and the KeyTales from the Public DomainBlame it on LisaWeekend at Burnsie'sGump RoastI Am Furious (Yellow)The Sweetest ApuLittle Girl in the Big TenThe Frying GamePoppa's Got a Brand New Badge