- Ned: Well, the folks at the Senior Center sure will love that peach tree we planted.
- Rod: I wish we could see their happy faces!
- Ned: Sin of pride, Roddy.
- Rod: I'm sorry.
- Ned: Sin of regret.
- Chief Wiggum: Well, well, well! Looks like a couple of punks are going to be taking the "Last Train to Clarksville"!
- Lou: That's the Monkees, Chief.
- Chief Wiggum: Go wait in the car.
- Lou: Fine... it was The Monkees.
- Pyro: You lay off my girlfriend's ex-husband!
- Moe: Uh.. How did this happen?
- Marge: All I wanted was to glue feathers on felt and teach boys good citizenship... *sobs* ...and now it's a donnybrook! *Starts crying and a cameraman nearby aims the video camera at her*
- Homer: Oh, my God! That's my wife and she's crying!
- Groundskeeper Willie: (punches Otto, then stops upon seeing Marge cry) Huh? Oh! Lassie, dry yer tears!
- Otto Mann: Then show us your boobs!
- Milhouse: Well, Bart, we've learned that war is not the answer.
- Bart: Except to all of America's problems.
- Milhouse: Amen.
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