Marge: Fruit roll-ups for Bart, beer roll-ups for Homer.
Homer: Someone's yellow belly is showing!
Bart: Oh, sorry. [pulls his shirt down to cover his stomach]
Lisa: [to Marge] I came as home as fast as I could! What's going on?
Marge: Watch what happens when I spill this blue liquid. [pours a liquid on the table, takes a towel off the roll, and cleans up the liquid with the paper towel]
Lisa: You pulled me out of school for this?
Marge: Absolutely. You're about to get a lesson...in value.
Marge: I guess it was a pretty funny prank. I like the ones where nothing catches on fire.
Homer: Yeah. Nothing gets hurt, except feelings.
Young Carl: Have you heard about this Internet thing?
Young Lenny: Internet?
Young Carl: Yeah, its the inner netting they invented to line swim trunks. It provides a comforting snugness.
Marge: Wow, Moe, you've been doing a lot of sleuthing.
Moe: Oh, yeah, oh yeah, I sleuthed my ass off on this one.
[Lenny and Carl bring a still-screaming Homer back home]
Carl: [to Marge] Sorry, Mrs. S. He was kind of disruptin' things at work.
Lenny: Yeah, he ruined nap time and quiet time.
Young Fat Tony: You've stumbled onto our secret supply of tobacc-y. [points to patch of tobacco plant]
Young Lenny: Wow, is that wacky tobacc-y?
Young Fat Tony: The wackiest!
[When Homer tries to have a fantasy about Paul Newman]
Paul Newman: [to Homer] I'm going to tell you the same thing I told Redford, it ain't gonna happen.
Young Moe: Ah, look at all them stars. Bunch of lazy lights, don't do nothing for nobody.
Mr. Burns: What are you doing in my corpse hatch?!
Chief Wiggum: Mr. Burns, you're under arrest for murder!
Mr. Burns: Oh, did I say "corpse hatch?" I meant "innocence tube!"
Homer: Wait a minute! I remember falling in the mud, but I don't think that's why I've been screaming.
Moe: Fine, crap all over my theory.
Bart: [about Homer] Oh, cool, he's still mental.
Carl: Yeah. My hunch is he's struggling with some sort of repressed memory.
Marge: Hmm. How do we un-repress it?
Lisa: Well, the Yaqui Indians brew a special tea that unlocks memories.
Marge: It would be a good excuse to use my Yaqui tea set.
[When the boys hear a whistle in the background]
Moe: Hey, what was that? [scene cuts to the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant where flames rise from one of the cooling towers]
Lenny: That's that nuclear plant that just opened.
Carl: Yeah, that's your future: busting atoms. Can you imagine us working there, the whole Carl Crew?
Lenny: Hey, I thought we're called Lenny and the Jets.
Moe: Eh, you're both wrong. We're the Moe Szyslak Experience featuring Homer.
Carl: Uh, I like the sound of that.
Homer: Friends forever?
Everyone: Friends forever! [they join hands above the fire, which burns them]
Lenny: Ow, that hurts!
Carl: Man, we're stupid.
Moe: Hate you guys.
Marge: [to Homer] You found a corpse when you were 12? No wonder you've been so traumatized. [hugs Homer]
Homer: It's responsible for everything wrong in my life. My occasional overeating, my fear of corpses!
Homer: Yup, the old quarry is just a stone's throw away.
Lisa: Stop saying that, Dad.
[When everyone walks inside the pipe, a dead rat floats by them]
Homer: Now do you believe dead rats float, Lisa?
Lisa: [fearfully] Yes!
[In the film of how Smithers Sr died, Mr. Burns is holding baby Waylon Smithers Jr.]
Mr. Burns: So, you're a baby huh? How's that working out for you? (the reactor is finally shut down for good) He DID IT! Look at your heroic daddy in there: making funny faces, falling into the floor, shedding his hair.... lying perfectly still? (realizing that Smithers Sr has sacrificed his life to save the plant) Oh..... dear...
Baby Smithers: (holds Burns's nose) Sir....
Homer: [putting the skull of Mr. Smithers’ dad in a box labeled "Memories"] Well, Marge, we solved the case of the haunted quarry.
Marge: Homer, shouldn't we give that skull to Mr. Smithers?
Homer: Why? He'd just bury it.
Moe: OK, (holds a '6') this is a number six from somebody's address, (transforms into a '9') or, is it a nine? (fades to black, the credits appear) You don't know! Ah, this is gravel. Okay? Gravel. (The music appears playing in the credits) This is, uhhh, that's more gravel, okay? Oh! This is a shell, that, to me, this is just me talking. It looks like a helmet for a mouse. Now, that sounds crazy right? But, if you ask the mice about, they don't say nuttin'. I mean, they run the other way. At first, I was just fishing with the helmet thing, but then from the mouse… reaction I got, I… got a little more… concerned.
Homer: Did you really made that envelope? Because it says "Hammermill" over here.
Moe: [confused] Um, no. (As the music ends, we cut to the Gracie Films logo)