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The Cad and the Hat |
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- Homer: Okay, a few ground rules. Everything I say, I want five of. Five Krusty burgers.
- Jeremy: (on speaker) Got it. Five Krusty burgers.
- Homer: No, I thought it was a clear! Twenty-five Krusty burgers!
- Jeremy: (on speaker) A hundred and twenty-five Krusty burgers?
- Homer: No, that's not what I... Fine.
- Bart: Who the hell are you?
- Bart's Guilt: I'm your guilt.
- Bart: I don't have any guilt.
- Bart's Guilt: You do now.
- Bart's Denial: Don't worry, Bart. I'll protect you. I'm Denial.
- (Bart's Guilt kills Bart's Denial and throws his body out the window)
- Bart: Ay, caramba!
- Magnus: When I heard a fellow chess player had a mental problem, I Skyped at once.
- Homer: I'm not a chess player anymore. From now on, I'm gonna play Stratego!
- Magnus: I cannot play Stratego. I'm scared of the bomb.
- Homer: (disgusting) Yeah, tell me about it.
- Magnus: Homer, I'm afraid you cannot run away from chess.
- Homer: The reason I got into chess was because it didn't involve.
- Magnus: I share your disdain for exercise. (Homer fist pumps at the laptop screen) Now I will say something with all the emotion a Norwegian can muster. (short pause) To find your true feelings, you must finish your final chess match with your father.
- Homer: (gasps)
- Magnus: I'm sorry, you cut out for a second. Did you gasp? Then you will nod, then you will eat a piece of cheese while the wife doesn't look, then you will undo the top button of your pants. I'm always three moves ahead.
- [As the laptop flashes on to the red screen that says, "Now your car is being towed.", Homer looks through the window as the tow truck tows up his car, and he cries, "D'oh!"]