Homer: When you're an experienced woodsman like me, you get a feel for these things. It becomes natural, like a third sense.
(Bob the RV salesman tries to sell Homer the small, beat up RV)
Bob: Mr. Simpson, you're never gonna own a better RV. And I don't mean that in a good way. I mean literally, buddy. This is for you, you know? It's this or a wagon.
(Bob the RV salesman checks Homer's credit on a computer, and a siren wails when the results come back)
Homer: Is that a good siren? Am I approved?
Bob: You ever known a siren to be good? (chuckles) No, Mr. Simpson, it's not. It's a bad siren. That's the computer in case I went blind, telling me, "Sell the vehicle to this fella, and you're outta business." That's what the siren says.
Lisa: We're playing, "
(Bob the RV salesman shows the Simpson family the "Ultimate Behemoth")
Bart: Does it have its own satellite dish, sir?
Bob: You can tell your son it has its own satellite. The VanStar One, launched last February, just for this thing, that's all.
Homer: I'll tell you when we get there. Go back to your smell game.
(Homer drives by Ned Flanders's house in his "new" RV)
Homer: Hey, Flanders! Look what I've got!
Ned: (whistles) Oh, she's a beaut! Hey, congratulations, Simpson! I'm sure you'll have loads of fun!
Homer: (chuckles to Marge) Jealous.
(Homer's "Bigfoot" story is reported on TV)
Reporter: Bigfoot. Legendary half-man, half-ape is no longer a legend. He's very, very real. What you're about to see is unedited video footage taken earlier today in the hills 3 miles southwest of Tenderfoot Gorge. Now the naturalist who took these absolutely extraordinary pictures was most impressed by the creature's uncivilized look, it's foul language, and most of all, it's indescribable stench. A popular supermarket tabloid has offered a reward of $5,000 to anyone who brings in the creature alive. Naturally, we'll have more on this story as soon as it develops. We now return you to the President's address, already in progress.
(Homer and Bart head off to find civilization)
Lisa: Remember, Dad, the handle of the Big Dipper points to the North Star.
Homer: (chuckles) That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class. We're in the woods.
(Marge and Lisa both groan)
Bart: Hey, Dad, how come we can't get a decent mower, like the Flanders have?
Homer: Just be happy with what what you've got, son. Don't try to keep up with the Flander-es-es.
(Bob the RV salesman sees Homer walk onto the lot)
Bob: Thank you, God.
(Ned Flanders shows off his new RV to Homer)
Homer: But, uh, how can you afford something like this, Ned? I get your mail once in a while, and you make only $27 a week more than I do.
Ned: Ha ha! Credit, my friend, credit!
Reporter: Last week's capture of Bigfoot turned into a scientific posure of the century? Although the creature was ultimately released, the question remains: Who was this Homer? Was it a man, or was it in fact the legendary missing link known as Bigfoot?
Homer: Can I have some applesauce?
Reporter: Specialists from around the world gathered at the Springfield Primate Institute for a firsthand examination of the controversial creature. They are now ready to announce their findings.
(A lot of people with microphones and cameras gathered around to see and listen to their findings. I guess you can call that the Paparazzi)
Dr. Marvin Monroe: Ugh. Ladies and gentlemen. Distinguished colleagues. After extensive biological and anatomical testing, I regret to announce that the evidence we have is...inconclusive. This thing may or may not be human.
(The paparazzi gasps and murmur)
German Scientist: That's what he thinks. I think it's none other than bigfoot in the fair.
French Scientist: Oh no. I disagree. I think it is a man. The eyes had a glimmer of human intelligence.
British Scientist: Glimmer in the eyes? What about the slopping apelike forehead? ....
Homer: All the guys at work are gonna have a field day with this.
British Scientist: ...Son of a bitch!
Marge: Cheer up, Homer. At least they let you go.
German Scientist: Gentlemen, gentlemen. This much, I believe we can agree upon. This specimen is either a below average human being, or a brilliant beast.