Special Edna
The Dad Who Knew Too Little
The Strong Arms of the Ma
(Lisa asks Homer for the diary she just saw on TV on her birthday)
Homer: Lisa, nobody likes a shill.
Lisa: Just give me the friggin' toy.

Dexter Colt: You know, Homer. Ever since I first met you, I always knew I would kill you in a hall of mirrors.

Homer: How ironic. Now he's blind after a life of enjoying being able to see.

Groundskeeper Willie: (notices Dexter Colt looking in Lisa's Locker) Hey! That's not yer locker!
Dexter Colt: You know, you're the spitting image of the Aberdeen strangler.
Groundskeeper Willie: Movin' on. (leaves, whistling innocently)

Elliott Gould: Krustofski!
Krusty: Why, look, it's my celebrity neighbor, Elliott Gould!
Elliott Gould: Your monkey bit my kid again!
Krusty : Well, if he would stop wearing the banana suntan lotion...
[Mr. Teeny looks on, grinning sheepishly]
Elliott Gould: Say hello to Bob. And Carol. And Ted. And Alice. [punctuates each name with a punch or kick to Krusty as Mr. Teeny continues grinning]

Homer: Lisa's pet peeve is...PHONIES? I thought she loved them!

Brandine: Cletus, if I find pig lipstick on your collar again I'm not gonna let you sleep in the sty no more.
Cletus: Duly noted.

Marge: Okay Lisa, now open the present from your father and I. (Poles Homer with her arm and Homer gives the present to her).
Lisa: I wonder what this could be!
Homer: I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
Lisa: Could it be some kind of book?
Homer: Well, Yes and no. (Lisa opens the present revealing to be a cassette tape) Mostly no!

(The family watches the video Homer bought for Lisa)
Narrator: Howdy, partners. My name is Sheriff...
Homer's voice: Lisa Simpson!
Narrator: I sure am hungry for my favorite food:
Homer's voice: McNuggets
Lisa: I don't like McNuggets, I'm a vegetarian!
Homer: Still? Then you're not gonna like your other present. (The camera turns and reveals her other present to be a roast chicken)
(A man in a horse approaches "Lisa" on the video)
Narrator: Why, it's my best friend:
Homer's voice: Maggie!
Lisa: Huh?
(Another guy approaches "Lisa" on the video)
Guy: Bad news sheriff:
Homer's voice: Lisa Simpson.
Guy: Some Indians took all the
Homer's voice: McNuggets! hmm McNuggets aagh...
Narrator: I'll get this no good Indians as sure as my favorite book is
Homer's voice: Magazine! (Falls asleep)
Bart's voice: Wake up dad!
Homer's voice: Wai..Wha...? (Lisa takes the video off)
Lisa: Dad, the information is all wrong! Maggie is a baby, not my best friend! (sighs) You don't know anything about me! (Runs off crying)
Homer: Maggie, you're her best friend, go talk to her! (she stomps and walks away) Oh, what have I done! Children don't remember bad birthdays, do they? (Marge groans)

Kent Brockman: (on the radio) Police are looking for a bald man in blue pants and a fair-headed girl in a red lampshade.

Season 13 Season 14 Quotes Season 15
Treehouse of Horror XIIIHow I Spent My Strummer VacationBart vs. Lisa vs. the Third GradeLarge MargeHelter ShelterThe Great Louse DetectiveSpecial EdnaThe Dad Who Knew Too LittleThe Strong Arms of the MaPray AnythingBarting OverI'm Spelling as Fast as I CanA Star is Born-AgainMr. Spritz Goes to WashingtonC.E. D'oh'Scuse Me While I Miss the SkyThree Gays of the CondoDude, Where's My Ranch?Old Yeller-BellyBrake My Wife, PleaseThe Bart of WarMoe Baby Blues
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