The Loop (TV)
- Smithers: I'm so happy I could, hug you.
- Mr. Burns: And have me smell like cheap drug store cologne the rest of the day? You may hug my shadow.
- Homer: The richest man in town is ours to control. He will do my bidding... at that fantasy football auction and anything else my limited imagination can come up with.
- Homer: This town can't teach its kids or collect its garbage, but we lead the nation in pointless revenge.
- Smithers: He was more than a friend. He was the reason I got up in the morning because he would inject me with coffee at six in the morning in the back of the head.
- Mr. Burns: I want to die quietly on my own term crushing as many of those baby sea turtles as I possibly can. Good bye, insufficiently cruel world!
- Mayor Quimby: (about Mr. Burns) Give him what he wants. He's the only tax payer in this town.
- Marge: (Jeffery Albertson, dressed as Wolverine) This isn't a line for a movie. Why are you in costume?
- Jeffery Albertson: Because you see, I'm afraid of needles, but Wolverine is not. (retracts claws) Snikt, Snikt!
- (An ice cream truck passes by; Albertson reaches for his wallet but scratches himself with claws)
- Jeffery Albertson: Ow! Need acceptable currency for delicious treat.
- Mr. Burns: I'll have 37 snifters of your influenza syrup. One for me, one for Smithers, and the rest for my hounds.
- Mayor Quimby: Please use your time in line wisely to Sophie's Choice your child.
- Fox News Helicopter Pilot: (as the Fox News representative leaves, the helicopter falls) Gaah! We're unbalanced! That's not fair!
- Kent Brockman: A philantropist. A humanitarian. A man of peace. These are among the people who have come to spit on Montgomery Burns' grave.
- Mr. Burns: You my mommy daddy puppy?
- Bart: Whoa! Your brains have gone oatmeal.
- Mr. Burns: My name oatmeal?
- Bart: This is too weird. (leaves)
- Mr. Burns: Wait for oatmeal.
- Mr. Burns: I haven't a friend in the world.
- Smithers: You have me, sir.
- Mr. Burns: I pay you, Smithers. No love can come from one man paying another.
- Smithers: Well, actually...
- Mr. Burns: I'll retire to my bed.
- Smithers: That's where everyone put their coats.
- Mr. Burns: Throw them in my woodchipper and use the remains to wash my car.
- (Smithers tosses coats out window and into woodchipper, the shreds going into a bin marked "rags".)
- Mr. Burns: Why does everyone hate me?
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