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The Funeral |
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- Homer: Children, we have some very sad news for you. I think you'd better sit down. Sit down! (The children sat down)
- Marge: Children, your elderly Uncle Hubert has passed away.
- Homer: Do you have any questions?
- Lisa: Yeah, what does passed away mean?
- Bart: (fakes his throat slit) You know, kicked the bucket, pulled the croak chain, had a meeting with old Mr. Grim, the...
- Homer: Bart!
- Bart: The dude died.
- (Bart, Lisa, Maggie, Homer, and Marge bow their heads down and close their eyes in sadness.)
- Funeral Owner: Would the family care to view the loved one at this time?
- Bart: Oh, boy! I've never seen a dead body before. I bet his skin will be all green and clammy and stuff. It'll be just like a zombie movie, only real!
- Lisa: Ew! (Marge, Homer, Lisa and Maggie looked at the body, Bart turned green and faints at the sight of the dead body, some members of the family walked up a hill and carrying his coffin)
- Bart: Oh, man, this is so slow. Steady, boys. Easy there. Whoa! Little to the left... (Homer covers his mouth)
- Homer: I wanna... (continues indistinct)
- Marge: You children were very, very naughty today.
- The Children: (make sad faces)
- Marge: Your father and I are quite disappointed in the three of you.
- Homer: This is absolutely the LAST funeral we ever take you kids to.
- Lisa: Awwwwww! (Furious)
- Bart: Awwwwww, come on, man!!! (Furious)