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The Girl Who Slept Too Little
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- Ned Flanders: [awakened by stamp museum construction] It's seven am! What are they cock-a-doodley-doing?!
- (Homer tries to come up with a chant)
- Homer: 2, 4, 6, 8! I hate stamps, they aren't great!
- (The crowd stares at him)
- Homer: Okay, how 'bout this? 7, 4, 3, 1... oh, wait, that's my PIN number! Everyone forget that!
- (Everyone writes it down)
Homer: Why, you very little--! (grunting while strangling little Bart)
- [Walking through the cemetery, Lisa tries to talk herself out of being scared]
- Lisa: If Scooby-Doo has taught me anything, it's that the only thing to fear are crooked real estate developers.
- Female speaker: Tell us, Mr. Berkhart. What led you to the magical world of children's books?
- Milton Burkhart: I wanted to be a children's book illustrator ever since Playboy wouldn't accept my cartoons, because they were too filthy.
- (The audience is silent)
- Marge: This is a little too spooky for me. I don't even like watching the Count on 'Sesame Street'.
- The Count: (On TV) One coconut......two coconuts.....three coconuts! Ah-ah-ah!
- Marge: Go back to your own country!
- (Homer and Marge are beside Lisa, who is unconscious in the graveyard)
- Homer: Lisa, honey. Please, wake up! If you do, I'll get you a new pony! (Lisa immediately wakes up)
- Lisa: New pony?
- Homer: Eh, This is still part of your dream! Dreaming...dreaming...now you're awake!
- Groundskeeper Willie: All I see is an empty grave, why dont ya fill it ya lazy *******!