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The Good, the Sad and the Drugly |
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- Jenny: Are you saying our entire relationship is based on lies?
- Bart: Not our entire relationship. Just the stuff I said.
- Bart: (crying) I can't believe Jenny dumped me.
- Homer: Aw, son. Girls come and go, but you'll always have your family.
- Bart: Ahhhh! (resumes sobbing hard)
- Homer: (starts crying too) I know! I know! (sobs loudly)
- Marge: Oh, Bart. I don't care that this is just an act. You've finally become the boy every mother dreams of: a girl!
- Ned Flanders: Reverend, would you like to try some of my devil's food cake?
- Reverend Lovejoy: Is that really devil's food?
- Ned Flanders: No, it's angel's food with chocolate on top.
- Reverend Lovejoy: Mmm-hmmm, I thought so.
- Homer: Sounds like someone's got a case of the Mondays!
- (Lisa is in her room smiling and seeing smiles everywhere due to being under the effects of Ignorital. Maggie holds a fan in front of her, but Lisa sees just one big smile)
- Lisa: If you don't stop smiling, you're gonna get a kiss!
- (Lisa gets close to the fan to kiss it, but it is disconnected by Marge)
- Superintendant Chalmers: SKINNERR!!
- Principal Skinner: Shh. Don't tell him I'm here.
- Superintendant Chalmers: I know you're there, Skinner. I recognize those discolored hush puppies anywhere.
- Principal Skinner: (chuckles) You hear that? He thinks my mutts are genuine hush puppies.
- Lisa: Oh, Ralph, how I envy your optimism. There is no Springfield 50 years in the future! With global warning trapping CO2 in our poisonous atmosphere, our superheated oceans will rise, drowning our lowlands, leaving what's left of humanity baking in deserts that once fed the world! [panting] And in the new Nineveh, darkness falls.
- Marge: Oh My!
- Homer: Yes!
- Jenny: You..never told me that the special man you were working with is your father.
- Bart: Uh..it's not an easy thing to admit.
- (Homer is eating corn with one hand and a chicken thigh with the other. a fly lands on his plate and he kills it with his forehead)
- Jenny: Is the rest of your family...okay?
- Bart: Well... (They look at Lisa, who is under Ignorital's effect)
- Lisa: (Looking at them, but seeing smiley faces on their heads) Hello smiley face...Hello smiley face! (She looks out through the window and sees Snake with a smiley face in his head running from Chief Wiggum, also with a smiley face in his head. Snake shoots Wiggum but instead of blood, smiley faces comes out of his body)
- Chief Wiggum: Officer down!