The Great Louse Detective/Quotes

Episode	References	Gags	Appearances	Gallery	Quotes	Credits

◄ Helter Shelter

The Great Louse Detective

Special Edna ►

Chief Wiggum: Now, Mr. Simpson, is it possible you're living a double or triple life that your wife doesn't know about?

Homer: Triple? No, definitely no.

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Chief Wiggum: Now, your case requires someone who understands the twisted mind of a murderer. And I know just where to find him.

Marge: (hopeful) Paris?

Chief Wiggum: No, no, not Paris.

Marge: (downminded) I'm never gonna go to Paris.

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(The Simpsons are in Campbell's Chunky Soup Maximum Security Prison)

Marge: I don't think this was a great place to bring the children.

Lisa: It still beats Disney's California Adventure.

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Sideshow Bob: Hello, Bart.

Bart & Lisa: AAAHH!! Sideshow Bob!

Sideshow Bob: Oh, come now, we have been through so much together. Just call me Bob.

Bart & Lisa: AAAHH!! Bob!

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Chief Wiggum: If I can tranq one freak on stilts, I know I've done my job.

Lou: You're living the dream.

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Bart: Dad, I can't believe you're putting my life at risk to save your own?!

Homer: You'll understand someday when you have kids.

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Sideshow Bob: Homer, how can one man have so many enemies?

Homer: I'm a people person... who drinks.

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(while Apu and Sideshow Bob reminisce about Bob's attempt to frame Krusty for robbing the Kwik-E-Mart)

Homer: If you two hens are finished "clucking", I would like to buy the latest issue of "Jugs & Ammo".

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Moe: (after beating up a Homer dummy) Who's the sociopath, now?

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(Sideshowbob is helping Homer, who has just been elected king of Mardi Gras, find his attempted killer)

Sideshow Bob: Homer it's a trap. You only won because someone filled the poll with these. (shows votes with all the same handwriting)

Homer: Nevertheless, the people have spoken.

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(Homer's runaway King of Mardi Gras float is heading toward a building filled with swordfish.)

Lisa: (gasps) Dad's heading for the Swordfish Museum!

Marge: That museum's been nothing but trouble since it opened.

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Homer: Wait! Frank Grimes wasn't married! How could he have a son?

Frank Grimes, Jr.: He happened to like hookers, okay?

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Lisa: Dad! I figured it out! (opens a piece of paper) The murderer is--

Homer: I know! Frank Grimes Junior!

Lisa: Huh? (looks down at the paper, where she has written the name "Bumblebee Man") Precisely. (crumples the paper and kicks it away)

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Bart: Dad, I'm really glad you're still alive.

Homer:: Yeah, it's every parent's dream to outlive their children.

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Bart: (singing) You've grown accustomed to my face...

Sideshow Bob: This isn't a duet.

Bart: Sorry.