Teller: Quiet! You talk on-stage. I talk off-stage. That was the curse the witch put on us.
Homer: The real magic is raising three kids in this economy!
David Copperfield: To show you we mean business, I'm unbuttoning my shirt and turning on a fan.
Bart: What idiot put the dump so far from where people live?
Lisa: You're as pure as the ether that puts you to sleep.
Homer: I can't stand to see one of my female children unhappy.
Lisa: Prepare to have everything you knew about milk cans challenged!
Grampa: In 1957 I saw him turn turn the Secretary of Agriculture into the Secretary of the Interior. It was hell on their wives, but it sure brought down corn prices. Built a house out of corn. It was the worst home I ever owed. When it got really hot it smelled like Frito's.
Great Raymondo: This is a house of magic.
Lisa: Sounds like most of it is owned by the bank.
Great Raymondo: But the rest of it is magic.
Homer: after Lisa pulls a coin out of his ear) Hello boat store, I'd like to order a boat. What do you mean dial tone?
Bart: Oh man, I can't believe we have to pick the peaches ourselves. This activity is so lame! I'm gonna daydream about school (daydreams about him getting a test) Damn it! A pop quiz!
Lisa: (picks a peach) Aw, come on Bart, It's fun! (picks another) Well, that was kind of the same as the first time. (picks another one and sighs) Oh, Why did I suggest this?
(Raymondo discovers that Lisa told his milk can escape trick secret to Cregg Demon's son)
Lisa: Raymondo, I am so sorry. I got rolled by a pro! do you know what is like to be the kind of girl that boys never talk to, and then suddenly, a boy talks to you?
The Great Raymondo: Get out!
Lisa: Haven't you ever been fooled by a pretty face?