Love is a Many Strangled Thing
The Great Simpsina
The Real Housewives of Fat Tony
Lisa: Initiate Phase 2.
Bart: I forgot what Phase 2 is, but I'll assume we just dump the peaches like we discussed.
Lisa: Affirmative.
Bart: I'll assume that means "yes".
Lisa: Roger.
Bart: The name's Bart.

Boy: I can see why they call you the "Great Simpsina".
Lisa: My friends call me Lisa.
Bart: She has no friends.
Lisa: Shut up!

Homer: Marge, how much do they pay us for doing this?
Marge: Actually, we pay them for each peach we take home.
Homer: What the...? First I work, then I pay, then I have to eat fruit? Why was I ever born?

Homer: Masseuses - the half-doctors, half-hookers who solve everything.

The Great Raymondo: I got this phone for subscribing to Psychic Monthly, and then, I canceled the subscription. They never saw it coming. (chuckles)

The Great Raymondo: Magic is about mystery, illusion, pulling rabbits out of hats! Presto! (pulls rabbit skeleton out of hat)
The Great Raymondo: Oh...
Lisa: Ew.
The Great Raymondo: Today's lesson: feed your props.

Nelson: God, if you don't bring my Lisa back safe, (shakes fist) ants will burn tonight.

Homer: Lisa, don't feel bad. Judas betrayed Jesus, but he still got paid.

Lou: Yeah, that's just what you need, Chief, another stomach.
Chief Wiggum: Shut up.

Lisa: You're just gonna stand there?
The Great Raymondo: No, with my back, I've got to sit.

Penn Jillette: Because, when he...
Teller: Quiet! You talk on-stage. I talk off-stage. That was the curse the witch put on us.

Homer: The real magic is raising three kids in this economy!

David Copperfield: To show you we mean business, I'm unbuttoning my shirt and turning on a fan.

Bart: What idiot put the dump so far from where people live?

Lisa: You're as pure as the ether that puts you to sleep.

Homer: I can't stand to see one of my female children unhappy.

Lisa: Prepare to have everything you knew about milk cans challenged!

Grampa: In 1957 I saw him turn turn the Secretary of Agriculture into the Secretary of the Interior. It was hell on their wives, but it sure brought down corn prices. Built a house out of corn. It was the worst home I ever owed. When it got really hot it smelled like Frito's.

Great Raymondo: This is a house of magic.
Lisa: Sounds like most of it is owned by the bank.
Great Raymondo: But the rest of it is magic.

Homer: after Lisa pulls a coin out of his ear) Hello boat store, I'd like to order a boat. What do you mean dial tone?

Bart: Oh man, I can't believe we have to pick the peaches ourselves. This activity is so lame! I'm gonna daydream about school (daydreams about him getting a test) Damn it! A pop quiz!
Lisa: (picks a peach) Aw, come on Bart, It's fun! (picks another) Well, that was kind of the same as the first time. (picks another one and sighs) Oh, Why did I suggest this?

(Raymondo discovers that Lisa told his milk can escape trick secret to Cregg Demon's son)
Lisa: Raymondo, I am so sorry. I got rolled by a pro! do you know what is like to be the kind of girl that boys never talk to, and then suddenly, a boy talks to you?
The Great Raymondo: Get out!
Lisa: Haven't you ever been fooled by a pretty face?
The Great Raymondo: Just once. I trusted you!
Lisa: Oh, you think I'm pretty?
The Great Raymondo: Get out!!

Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23
Elementary School MusicalLoan-a LisaMoneyBARTTreehouse of Horror XXILisa Simpson, This Isn't Your LifeThe Fool MontyHow Munched is That Birdie in the Window?The Fight Before ChristmasDonnie FatsoMoms I'd Like to ForgetFlaming MoeHomer the FatherThe Blue and the GrayAngry Dad: The MovieThe Scorpion's TaleA Midsummer's Nice DreamLove is a Many Strangled ThingThe Great SimpsinaThe Real Housewives of Fat TonyHomer Scissorhands500 KeysThe Ned-liest Catch
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