Don't Fear the Roofer
The Heartbroke Kid
A Star is Torn
Homer: Little kids aren't supposed to have heart attacks! They're supposed to skin their knees, or poke their eyes out, or get smothered by cats!

Marge: Homer, maybe you could ask Mr. Burns for a raise.
Homer: Even better, I'll ask him for my job back!

Superintendent Chalmers: It's not my birthday, Seymour. You know I'm a Sagittarius.
Principal Skinner: Really? I'm a Libra. There's a lot of compatibility there.
Superintendent Chalmers: Skinner, be gay on your own time.

[After Bart collapses from his heart attack]
Homer: Do the Bart Man! Do the Bart Man! (Bart groans) Why won't you dance? Dance!

Dr. Hibbert: Now when Bart goes home, he's going to have to follow a program of strict diet and exercise. Dammit, I will not bury another patient!
Marge: Doctor, you're a pediatrician!
Dr. Hibbert: Yeah, but my head's been somewhere else this year.

Spangler [to Bart]: Come on, let’s look for your dad. And if we have some time, maybe we'll look for mine.

Kent Brockman: Kent Brockman, Channel 6 News. I gorge on kettle corn during the sports and weather.
Spangler: We know. Your side fat's starting to spill over to channel 5 and 7. I hope you're getting 3 paychecks.

Spangler [to Bart]: Son, I'm gonna tell you a story about a young man who came here and failed. Well, that is the story. I shouldn't call a sentence a story. Anyway, it's you!

Homer: Marge, can you cut back on your makeup budget?
Marge: But I already use crayons for lipstick and fireplace soot for eyeliner.
Homer: So that's where my soot went.

Spangler [to Bart]: Young man, there's something I have to show you. In one hour. We have to drive there. No talking along the way, it'll hurt the drama.
Bart: Can I just...
Spangler: Shh, drama!

Spangler [to the Simpsons]: Folks, you have three weeks left on a non-refundable weight loss treatment, so if anybody else in the family wants to use it, use it now.
Homer: But who else needs to lose weight? Maggie, Grampa, my seldom seen half brother, Herb? [the rest of the family looks at him] What are you all looking at me for?

Bart: I've learned that even made up corporate shills can lie to you.
Homer [holds a stuffed fox animal]: Did you hear that, Foxy, the Fox Network fox?

Spangler [to Homer]: What are you eating now?
Homer: Cheeseburger.
Spangler: You're a catastrophe. Let me have half of it.
Homer: I don't wanna.
Spangler: I just want the cheese, I don't want the meat. I do want the meat.
Homer: Here's a corner.
Spangler: Let me just bite it, don't rip it! Let me have the whole thing, you'll get some later.
Homer: You're a selfish jerk.
Spangler: I've smelled it, it has to be eaten!
Homer: But it's my burger!
Spangler: I'm driving. I'll kill us!
Homer: Fine, I'd rather die!

Spangler: Excuse me, we're looking for Mr. and Mrs. Simpson. I'm sorry to say this is their son.
Female Tourist: Oh, so he's the strudel-sucking globbenheimer who has bankrupted them with his expensive treatments.
Spangler: Strudel-sucking globbenheimer. You need to think about that. That's what the human race thinks of you.
[Marge and Lisa are cleaning up while being verbally abused by the German tourists.]
Male Tourist: Problem number 35 with America, no universal health care. Number 36, no metric system. What is this, the time of Charlemagne? Answer me! Answer me now!

Homer: I'm not too fat... I'm alive aren't I?
Spangler: Mr. Simpson, you're suffering from PSI. Poor self esteem. That's not "I"! (yelling) Every sign is wrong!

Rainier Wolfcastle: Here's the scoop, your Hagen days are over.

Bart Simpsons: They can't see or hear us,Right?
Spangler: We're not the Ghost of Christmas Past, Bart.

Season 15 Season 16 Quotes Season 17
Treehouse of Horror XVAll's Fair in Oven WarSleeping with the EnemyShe Used to Be My GirlFat Man and Little BoyMidnight RxMommie BeerestHomer and Ned's Hail Mary PassPranksta RapThere's Something About MarryingOn a Clear Day I Can't See My SisterGoo Goo Gai PanMobile HomerThe Seven-Beer SnitchFuture-DramaDon't Fear the RooferThe Heartbroke KidA Star is TornThank God It's DoomsdayHome Away from HomerThe Father, the Son and the Holy Guest Star
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