Mr. Burns: I won't forget who mocked me! I'm taking your picture! (takes out an old fashioned view camera) Now, hold perfectly still for seventy-eight minutes. (after a few seconds, the children leave and Mr. Burns falls asleep)
Homer: (pushing through the crowd) That flag is mine! (takes an American flag off the conveyor belt and stands on top of suitcases, waving the flag around) Don't mess with Texas! Shock and awe, losers! Shock and awe!
Homer: (talking to an elderly Italian woman) I honor you and your country.
(gives her a coffee mug with the word "Kentucky" on it)
Elderly woman: (shrieks) Kentucky! In Italia, this-a means whore!
(smashes the mug and slaps Homer)
Marge: Excuse me, Mr. Mayor. They say you speak English.
(in a flashback, Bob opens the front door of his old house in Springfield, takes off his hat and puts in on the coat hanger, puts his knife away and sits down)
Bob: (narrating) I needed a fresh start. But where? (He walks up to the globe and spins it around. He covers his eyes and stabs the knife into the globe, which lands on Orlando, Florida) Not in this lifetime! (He spins it again, and the knife lands on North Korea) Damn it! (He spins it again, and the knife lands on Shelbyville) Never! (He spins it again, and the knife lands on a fictional country called Bartovia that looks like Bart winking; it is supposedly located near Italy) Now cut that out. (He moves the globe slightly and stabs the knife in Tuscany) Ah, Tuscany. Fortune is finally smiling upon me. (steps on a rake and groans in annoyance, then throws it on the floor)
Woman crushing grapes: Mi arrendo. Questo è troppo difficile.
Man crushing grapes: I nostri piccoli piedi schifo.
Bart: Bob, your family will find out the truth. Sooner or later, you'll try to kill me again! Watch, I'll prove it. (lifts up his shirt and moves his hips around) Come on, Bob. Slice, dice, and serve on rice!
Bob: (chuckling) You little scamp! (laughs and puts down Bart's shirt) You know, you'll make some murderer very happy one day. But, it shan't be me.
Francesca: (talking about Bob) He's so wonderful. They must miss him in America.
(in Springfield, Chief Wiggum, Lou, and Eddie burst into Sideshow Bob's old home)
Chief Wiggum: Eat justice, Sideshow Bob! (the cops unload their machine guns. When they're done, they see that there are little kids having a birthday party)
Lou: Chief, I tried to warn you. Sideshow Bob hasn't lived here for months.
Wiggum: Oh, God, am I sorry. (chuckles) Oh, hey, is that a Penn State banner? 'Cause my cousin went there. Did you know him? Mark Wiggum, fat kid? Played a lot of Tetris? (the kids still stare, shocked beyond comprehension)
Bob: We are here to honor my old friends, the Simpsons. Tomorrow they return to America, taking with them my gratitude, my friendship, and my heartfelt wish that they never return.
Bob: Simpson. Family. I hereby swear, a, VENDETTA!!
Marge: (looking in an Italian to English Dictionary) Vendetta means...vendetta!
(all the Simpsons scream)
Marge: Boy, that Sideshow Bob goes from zero to murder awfully fast
Bart: At least this time it was Lisa who ruined Bob's life.
Bob: Francesca, you've come to me. Well, you've caught me at the right time because I swear (hold up his arm) never to raise this hand in vengeance again.
Francesca: (grabs his arm) No, Roberto! If the Simpsons have dishonor you, they have dishonored our family. And we should take revenge as a family.
Gino: (pulls out a knife) Vendetta! Vendetta! Vendetta for me papa! (tosses the knife in the air and skillfully catches it with his finger)
Bob: Ah! Revenge is a dish best served...family style!
(Bob laughs manically, as does Francesca and then Gino. Gino than falls to the ground and begins crying. Francesca picks him up, and he laughs again while Bob and Francesca smile menacingly)
Bart: Please help us, Krusty. We don't want to be the first Christians to die at the Colosseum!
Marge: Here's a cute fact. This sausage shop has been grinding the same family of pigs for six hundred years.
Butcher: (in Italian) Sono abitato dai fantasmi di diecimila maiali morti.
(English captions read: I am haunted by the ghosts of ten thousand dead pigs).
Francesca: Oh, he makes love like a man who just got out of jail. (kisses Bob)
Bob: (chuckles nervously) Yes, you crave my skillful touch. Now take the boy and shut the door. I'll rock your world anon. (gets Francesca and Gino out, closes the door, then gets on his knees in front of the Simpsons) Simpsons, I beg of you. Please don't destroy the new life I've created here! Surely the most heinous criminal deserves a seventh chance.
Lisa: Hey, Krusty's in an opera here in Rome! He can save our lives! Come on, let's go!
Lisa: You have to help us! Sideshow Bob has sworn a vendetta against us!
Krusty: Vendetta? What's that, an Italian vending machine? (the Simpsons stare at him for a few seconds before Krusty bursts into tears) Aw! That's my opening joke! And my closer, and my saver, and my topper!
Krusty: Put on these costumes and mix in with the crowd scenes. He won't kill you in front of all those witnesses!
Homer: But I do such a great impression of him! (turns around and turns back to them with his hand covering one of his eyes) Ooh, I am the gayest supervillain ever! Beware my scented candles! Ooh, scented!
Bob: I can't believe what that clown is doing to Ruggiero Leoncavallo! And they call me a murderer!
Gino: (sighting the Simpsons) Vendetta! (puts a knife in his mouth and slide down a rope)(muffled) Vendetta! Vendetta! Vendetta!
Bob: (to Francesca) I don't wish to brag, but he's evil at an eighth grade level!