Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood
The Last Temptation of Homer
$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)
Martin: Oh, pick me teacher! I'm ever so smart. (to Bart) It's photosynthesis! Damn your feeble brain!

Edna: Class, I know there's no way to prove who actually did this, and in our American democracy, everyone is innocent until proven guilty.
Bart: God bless America.
Edna: But my classroom is not a democracy. Ha!

Bart: Oy, I feel so much better, Mr. Medical Science-type Person.

Sherri and Terri: Nice glasses, four eyes!
Nelson: Yeah, nice shoes, uh, two feet!
Martin: Your appearance is comical to me!

Bart: (sees his reflection in Milhouse's glasses; gasps) I'm a nerd!
Milhouse: (sees his reflection in Bart's glasses; gasps) So am I!

Lenny: If they hire a woman, we won't be able to spit on the floor!
Carl: And we can't take off our pants when it gets real hot!
Homer: And we won't be able to pee in the drinking fountain! Yeah... I mean, that... You know, if we wanted to. Not that I ever did.

Homer: (thinking) Think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts...
(Closes his eyes, pictures Patty and Selma shaving their legs)
Homer: (thinking) Ohhhh, that's unsexy.
(Pictures Barney dancing in a bikini)
Homer: (thinking) Ewwww.
Barney: *Burp*
(Pictures Barney morphing into Mindy, then imagines her blowing him a kiss)

Lisa: Dad, look! I made fish sticks. They're burned on the outside, but they're frozen on the inside, so it balances out.

Kent Brockman: Tonight, Eye on Springfield takes a look at the secret affairs of Kennedy, Eisenhower, Bush, and Clinton. Did fooling around on their wives make them great? We'll find out next when we play "Hail to the Cheat".

Homer: (after hallucinating) What the hell was that? I probably shouldn't have eaten that packet of powdered gravy I found in the parking lot.

Lenny: Homer, what's with you? You're talking during a coffee break.
Carl: Yeah. Usually you just take the box of doughnuts into the bathroom.

Homer has written a note on his hand for Mndy, but his sweat has made it ilegible. He tries to read it to Mindy anyway.
Homer: Mu- Murphy, you's... You are a elf... Uncontrollably, I think...

(Homer tries to talk to Moe about Mindy without indicating he's referring to himself)
Homer: Moe I got this friend, Joey.....Joe Joe... Junior... Shabadoo?
Moe: That's the worst name I've ever heard.
(A man at the end of the bar runs out crying)
Barney: Hey! Joey Joe Joe!

(Homer and Mindy are in the elevator together)
Mindy: I guess we'll be going down together- I mean, getting off toge- I mean-
Homer: That's okay. I'll just push the button for the stimulator- I mean, elevator.

Homer: What am I going to do?
Barney: Your infatuation is based on a physical attraction. Talk to the woman and you'll realize you have nothing in common.
Homer: Barney, that is so insightful. How did you come up with that?
Barney: It was on one of these bar napkins.
(Barney holds up a napkin with precisely the words which he had spoken)

(An alarm labelled 'Room Service Alert' starts blaring)
Smithers: Someone is charging room service to the company, sir!
Mr. Burns: Well, we'll just see about that! (he pulls the cover off a cage of winged monkeys) Fly, my pretties! Fly! (The monkeys leap from the cage and out the window, abruptly plummeting to their deaths. Burns angrily grumbles and turns to Smithers) Continue the research.

Homer: I love my wife and family! All I'm gonna use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort. That's it!

Homer: Free mouthwash! Free shampoo! Free shower curtain!

Mindy: Homer, I got a really wicked idea that could get us into a lot of trouble!
Homer: Oh, Mindy, we have to fight our temptation!
Mindy: No, Homer. Let's do it. Let's call room service!
Homer: Oh.

Zutroy: (reaches slowly for a button in front of him, then changes his mind at the last minute and pushes a different one)
Burns: Excellent, Zutroy! Work hard, and each day you'll get a shiny penny.

Wesson: Agent Wesson, Department of Labor. This man is an illegal alien!
Burns: That's preposterous. Zutroy here is as American as apple pie.
Zutroy: Tocnikrabda, mistah Boons.
Female agent: This plant violates every labor law in the book. We found a missing Brazilian soccer team working in your reactor core!
Burns: That plane crashed on my property!
Wesson: Look, Mr. Burns: we want to see some changes. For starters, you can reverse your sexist employment policies, and hire at least one woman.
Burns: All right...I'll bring in a woman. But I still stand by my hiring policies! (A quacking duck in a hardhat pulls a wagon in) Get back to work, Stuart!

Singing Trout: (after Homer backs his car into the trout hatchery) Homer loves Mindy! Homer loves Mindy!

Season 4 Season 5 Quotes Season 6
Homer's Barbershop QuartetCape FeareHomer Goes to CollegeRosebudTreehouse of Horror IVMarge on the LamBart's Inner ChildBoy-Scoutz 'n the HoodThe Last Temptation of Homer$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)Homer the VigilanteBart Gets FamousHomer and ApuLisa vs. Malibu StacyDeep Space HomerHomer Loves FlandersBart Gets an ElephantBurns' HeirSweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss SongThe Boy Who Knew Too MuchLady Bouvier's LoverSecrets of a Successful Marriage
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