Krusty: My comedy comes from taking risks. Or avoiding them, I can't remember.
Women: Krusty, we need to talk.
Krusty: Make it fast. I got a coiled up spring ready to boi-oi-oi-oi-oing. Oh, why can't I be funny with just my words? Bill Maher doesn't put dangerous things near his crotch, except when he's off work.
Women: Homer, we're here to throw the most redonkulous marketing outreach this town's ever seen. All you have to do is invite every cool person you know.
Bart: Hey, I wrote the application. Do any of my friends get to come?
Man: One Friend. He can listen to music with headphones on, he gets one slice of cheese pizza, and if the party gets slow, he has to pretend to let Krusty save him from drowning.
Man: Off the dilge!
Mr. Burns: You were willing to send me over a waterfall to save your family, but you cut our operating expenses by 6%, so you're forgiven.
Kevin Michael Richardson: (To Julius and Bernice Hibbert) So the car in front of us forgot to validate his (notices Mr. Burns stands beside him) Uh...
Mr. Burns: (giggles) I was in an anecdote once.
Dr. Hibbert: Uh... (look at his watch) I have a surgery in the morning! (leaves with Bernice)
Kevin Michael Richardson: Yeah, and I'm the one having the surgery! (leaves Mr. Burns alone)
Bart: (reading to Lisa) But when the helpful voice was silent, "the daily lesson over, the beloved presence gone, and nothing remained but loneliness and grief, then Jo found her promise very hard to keep.
Lisa: We did it Bart!! (hugs Bart, scaring him) I'm a mentor!!