Simpsons Wiki
Simpsons Wiki
Regarding Margie
The Monkey Suit
Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play
Todd: Daddy, was Mommy a monkey? I can't remember.
Ned: No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that.
Todd: But you said a stork brought me.
Ned: That was God disguised as a stork.
Rod: Who brings baby storks?
Ned: There's no such thing as storks! It's all God!
Todd: (kneeling in front of an exhibit of a stork) Please bless Daddy and Roddy...
Ned: Stop praying to that stork!

Bart: So, according to Creationism, there were no cavemen.
Homer: Good riddance. Their drawings suck and they look like hippies.
Lisa: Dad, you're not really reconsidering evolution, are you?
Homer: My mind is always open to new ideas. (looks down at dinner) Onions? In the peas?! What the hell?! (throws plate at the wall)

Skinner: Class, starting today we will be presenting an alternative theory on the origin of man. (Ms. Hoover writes "Creationism" on the blackboard)
Lisa: Creationism? But that's not science!
Skinner: It is now!
Ralph: Are oceans God's tears? (Ned and Rev. Lovejoy nod their heads from the door)
Skinner: They sure are! A+! (Lisa groans)
Ralph: Now Lisa's the Ralph!

Judge Snyder: Well, I've heard enough for today. I have to judge a wet T-shirt contest in 20 minutes.
Blue-Haired Lawyer: (scoffs) This trial is the biggest load of... Oh, for crying out loud!
(Wallace Brady is bottle-feeding an adorable baby deer)
Wallace Brady: Now, Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mama? Evolution? My, my, my.
Homer: (crying) Poor Bambi. Poor Thumper.

Season 16 Season 17 Quotes Season 18
The Bonfire of the ManateesThe Girl Who Slept Too LittleMilhouse of Sand and FogTreehouse of Horror XVIMarge's Son PoisoningSee Homer RunThe Last of the Red Hat MamasThe Italian BobSimpsons Christmas StoriesHomer's Paternity CootWe're on the Road to D'oh-whereMy Fair LaddyThe Seemingly Never-Ending StoryBart Has Two MommiesHomer Simpson, This is Your WifeMillion-Dollar AbieKiss Kiss Bang BangaloreThe Wettest Stories Ever ToldGirls Just Want to Have SumsRegarding MargieThe Monkey SuitMarge and Homer Turn a Couple Play