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The Simpsons Nutcracker Song

The Simpsons Nutcracker Song

The Nutcracker Sweet (Medley)  is a medley of songs from "The Nutcracker" that were sung in "Simpsons Christmas Stories".

Lyrics

March

Homer: Ugh. I hope I never hear that god-awful Nutcracker music again.
Lisa: I don't know, dad. This time of year, everybody does it, 'cause you don't have to pay for the music rights.
Marge: Really? I've still gotta bake my Christmas pie.
Bart: I've gotta get Dad a lousy tie.
Cletus: Christmas crowds is what I hate.
Sideshow Mel: No time left to procrastinate.
Lenny: So move your ass.
Carl: And let me pass.
Lenny and Carl: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here! Ow!
Mayor Quimby: Er, why is this Santa suit so snug?
Mr. Burns: Grr, why should I care? It's all humbug.
Apu: I've jacked my prices up so high
But there's no junk these saps won't buy
Last year's eggnog, a green hot dog
Skinner, Dolph, Jimbo, Kearney, Agnes, Apu and Barney: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here!
Comic Book Guy: These holiday cookies swell my fat.
Crazy Cat Lady: (singing gibberish) Cat!
Krusty: Even though we're not gentile,
we'll get together for a while.
Old Jewish Man: To shoot the breeze.
Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky: And eat Chinese!
Krusty, Old Jewish Man, Rabbi, Chinese restaurant costumers: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here! Oy!
Marge: Christmas is a family day.
Homer: I told Grampa we'd be away.
Lisa: He's at the door.
Bart: Let's hit the floor!
Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here!
Grandpa: Fine. I'll spend Christmas Eve with the raccoons.

Russian Dance

Marge: Merry Christmas, Homie. I think you're really gonna like this.
Homer: (laughs) That's great. Now I'll just get my present for you, which is...right outside the door. (leaves) Oh my god, I forgot to get Marge a present!
I need a present for my wife,
Or I'll have no sex for life.
Diamond ring, a vase by Ming,
Some kinda useful kitchen thing!
I need a store I can break into,
Or a place run by a Hindu!
Apu: The Christmas rush has cleaned me out,
I just have jerky made of trout.
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