The Nutcracker Sweet (Medley) is a medley of songs from "The Nutcracker" that were sung in "Simpsons Christmas Stories".
Lyrics[]
March[]
- Homer: Ugh. I hope I never hear that god-awful Nutcracker music again.
- Lisa: I don't know, dad. This time of year, everybody does it, 'cause you don't have to pay for the music rights.
- Marge: Really? I've still gotta bake my Christmas pie.
- Bart: I've gotta get Dad a lousy tie.
- Cletus: Christmas crowds is what I hate.
- Sideshow Mel: No time left to procrastinate.
- Lenny: So move your ass.
- Carl: And let me pass.
- Lenny and Carl: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here! Ow!
- Mayor Quimby: Er, why is this Santa suit so snug?
- Mr. Burns: Grr, why should I care? It's all humbug.
- Apu: I've jacked my prices up so high
- But there's no junk these saps won't buy
- Last year's eggnog, a green hot dog
- Skinner, Dolph, Jimbo, Kearney, Agnes, Apu and Barney: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here!
- Comic Book Guy: These holiday cookies swell my fat.
- Crazy Cat Lady: (singing gibberish) Cat!
- Krusty: Even though we're not gentile,
- we'll get together for a while.
- Old Jewish Man: To shoot the breeze.
- Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky: And eat Chinese!
- Krusty, Old Jewish Man, Rabbi, Chinese restaurant costumers: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here! Oy!
- Marge: Christmas is a family day.
- Homer: I told Grampa we'd be away.
- Lisa: He's at the door.
- Bart: Let's hit the floor!
- Homer, Marge, Bart and Lisa: 'Cause Christmas Eve is here!
- Grandpa: Fine. I'll spend Christmas Eve with the raccoons.
Russian Dance[]
- Marge: Merry Christmas, Homie. I think you're really gonna like this.
- Homer: (laughs) That's great. Now I'll just get my present for you, which is...right outside the door. (leaves) Oh my god, I forgot to get Marge a present!
- I need a present for my wife,
- Or I'll have no sex for life.
- Diamond ring, a vase by Ming,
- Some kinda useful kitchen thing!
- I need a store I can break into,
- Or a place run by a Hindu!
- Apu: The Christmas rush has cleaned me out,
- I just have jerky made of trout.