Quimby: On the positive side, with this disaster, we have surpassed Detroit and Kabul as the world's most unlucky city.
Helen: She's completely cooked. Unlike the chicken she brought to the potluck.
Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, Helen is as bitter as the lemonade she brought to the potluck. What a terrible potluck that was.
Sideshow Mel: Why wasn't this a town hall event? I like to see them balance on the stools.
Homer: (after Marge suggests Homer be more like Lisa) My boyfriend is broccoli!
Homer: I am not a whale! I am a man with blubber, and several harpoon scars! (tries to attack Krusty, but then gets stabbed by a harpoon then runs and jumps around like a whale)
Homer: Marge, can you cook a Hot Pocket in the dryer?
Kent Brockman: And with the last senior citizen gently reminded that they cannot vote at IHOP, the results are now final. History is made. Marge Simpson is our new mayor. The first woman and the second to pee sitting down.
Quimby: (advising Marge) There's no "mayor" in "marriage." There almost is. It's really close.