Changes: The Otto Show/Quotes

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◄	Black Widower

The Otto Show

Bart's Friend Falls in Love

►

Skinner: Let me in! Let me in!

Ralph: He steps on the toilet, then the toilet goes flush! Hail to the--

Skinner: SHUT UP!!!

Otto's residence. He cannot open his front door, oblivious to his surrounding.

Sign: EVICTION NOTICE. You are ordered to vacate the premises immediately.

Otto: Hey landlord, some clown changed my locks, padlocked the door and put up an eviction notice.

Landlord: Yeah, that was me.

Otto: You? But, why?

Landlord: Because you haven't paid your rent.

Otto: Well, can I at least get my stuff?

Landlord: All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old Psycho magazines.

Otto: (astonished) Wow... I had mustard?

Marge: Otto, you can't watch TV all day.

Otto: You're right. I should do some reading. You got any "Where's Waldo" books?

Marge: No.

Otto: A book from a vampire’s point of view?

Marge: No.

Otto: Anything where guys send in naked pictures of their chicks?

Marge: Otto, I think you should get a job.

Otto: The only job I was good at was driving a bus, and now "the man" says I need a piece of paper to do that.

(Otto starts playing guitar loudly.)

Homer: Will you knock it off!? I can't hear myself think.

(Otto stops.)

Homer's Head: I want some peanuts.

Homer: That's better.

Patty: My name is Patty. I will be testing you. When you're doing good, I use the green pen. When you're doing bad I use the red pen. Any questions?

Otto: Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I don't want to offend you but were you were born a man? You can tell me, I'm open minded.

Patty drops green pen.

Patty: I won't be needing this.

Homer: Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

Homer: All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage.

Otto: Wow! What's the catch?

Bart: Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recording it.

Marge: What conversation?

Bart: (on tape) Mom, can Otto live in our garage for as long as he wants? (impression of Marge) He sure can!

Homer: Marge! What were you thinking?

Marge: That's not my voice!

Homer: Oh, everybody says that when they hear themselves on tape.

Marge: I know we didn't ask for this Homer, but doesn't the Bible say "Whatsoever you do unto the least of my children, that which you do unto Me?"

Homer: Yes, but doesn't the bible also say "Thou shalt not...take moochers into thy hut."

Skinner: It's a miracle nobody was hurt.

Otto: I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.

Homer: Now, boy, we spent a lot of money, so you'd better get real good real fast, or POW!

Marge: Homer!

Homer: Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.

[Principal Skinner's office; Otto is under arrest for reckless driving]

Skinner: Oh, it's a miracle no one was hurt!

Otto: Oh, I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality!

Lou: Let’s see your license, pal.

Otto: No can do. Never got one.

[Skinner palms his forehead]

Otto: But if you need proof of my identity I wrote my name on my underwear. [Checks his undies] Oh wait, these aren't mine.

Skinner: Well, that tears it. Until you get a license and wear your own underwear, mister, you are suspended without pay!

Otto: Who's gonna drive the bus?!

Skinner: I drove an all-terrain vehicle in Da Nang. [Stands up] I think I can handle it.

Nelson: Hey Simpson, what are you trying to play?

Bart: Polly-Wally-Doodle.

Nelson: Oh yeah, well it sounds Polly-Wally-Crappy.

Martin: Although I'm sure I will receive a severe wedgie from my bus-mates, I must remind you that we should have been at school 10 minutes ago.

Otto: Uh oh, better fasten your seatbelts, little dudes.

Lisa: We don't have seatbelts.

Otto: Uh, well, then just try to go limp.

Bart: Otto, you are the coolest adult ever!

Otto: Wow! I've never been called an adult before, I've been tried as one but.

Bart: Otto-Man? You're living in a dumpster?

Otto: Ho, man, I wish. Dumpster-brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit.

Otto: I don't know about this, Bart dude. Your dad was right, I am a bum...

Bart: He didn't call you a bum, he called you a sponge.

Otto: SPONGE?! (Punches wall) I'll show him what this sponge can do!

Spinal Tap: I just walked out there and there’s puddles of water all over the freakin’ stage.

Rock Fan: Huh, I don’t want to lie to you boys. Six days a week this place is a hockey rink.

Spinal Tap: Yeah, well this is a rock concert, not the bleeding splish splash show.

Spinal Tap: Well, it seems some silly twit did not get a big enough oxygen tank, but that's supposed to be a devil. Filled up with air it's very evil and impressive. We salute you, our half inflated Dark Lord!

Kent Brockman: Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporter’s opinion, the answer, sadly, is 'yes'.

Bart: Mom, I want to be a rockstar.

Marge: Hmmmmm we'll discuss it later. Is Milhouse okay?

Homer: Uh, I'll be right back....

Milhouse: [at the arena lying under a pile of folding chairs] Heeeelp.

Homer [singing]: There was a little Spanish flea. A record star he thought he'd be. He heard of singers like Beatles, The Chipmunks he'd seen on TV. Why not a little Spanish flea? And so he hid inside a dog...

Marge: I don't understand why don't you stay with your parents?

Otto: The admiral and I don't get along.

Otto: Please let me stay here. I've got nowhere else to go.

Homer: Forget it. That line didn't work for my dad, and it's not going to work for you.

Homer: Listen, you drain-clogging, last-cookie-eating, collect-call-getting sponge! I want you out of my house!

Bart: Rough day, Apu? Help me a squishee and don't spare the syrup.

Apu: Oh, perhaps you would like to try an experimental flavor of my own concoction. A delicious Chutney Squishee.

Bart: Oh... okay…slurp

Apu: You can really taste the chutney!

Bart: Otto Mann where'd you learn how to play the guitar?

Otto: It's all I ever did in high school, but my Old man said I was wasting my time and I'd never amount to anything.

Homer: Boy, some of the best times I’ve ever had were in the back seat of a car.

Otto: I want to take the test again!

Patty: Why?

Otto: So I can staple my license on Homer Simpson's big bald head!

Patty: (changes her demeanor upon hearing Homer's name) Really!

(During the driving test)

Otto: Homer had a piece of food stuck to his face for three days!

(Patty laughs as Otto tells her more stories of Homer and his crude behavior)

Otto: And it wasn't little either, it was a chicken wing!

Patty: (laughing) Wing!

◄ Season 2	Season 3 Quotes	Season 4 ►
Stark Raving Dad • Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington • When Flanders Failed • Bart the Murderer • Homer Defined • Like Father, Like Clown • Treehouse of Horror II • Lisa's Pony • Saturdays of Thunder • Flaming Moe's • Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk • I Married Marge • Radio Bart • Lisa the Greek • Homer Alone • Bart the Lover • Homer at the Bat • Separate Vocations • Dog of Death • Colonel Homer • Black Widower • The Otto Show • Bart's Friend Falls in Love • Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 {{Tab|Quo}}
-{{Spacer}}
 {{PrevNext|Quo|Black Widower|Bart's Friend Falls in Love}}
-{{Spacer}}
+:'''Skinner:''' Let me in! Let me in!
-: ''(Otto's apartment. Otto cannot open the door, and is oblivious to the sign on it.)''
+:'''Ralph:''' He steps on the toilet, then the toilet goes flush! Hail to the--
+:'''Skinner:''' SHUT UP!!!
-: '''Sign''': EVICTION NOTICE. YOU ARE ASKED TO VACATE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.
+:
+:
-: '''Otto''': Hey landlord, some clown changed my locks.
+:
+:
-: '''Landlord''': Yeah, can't you read? The sign says eviction notice. I am evicting you on account of you losing your job and you can no longer afford rent.
+:''Otto's residence. He cannot open his front door, oblivious to his surrounding.''
+:'''Sign''': EVICTION NOTICE. You are ordered to vacate the premises immediately.
-: '''Otto''': Well, can't I at least get my stuff?
+:'''Otto''': Hey landlord, some clown changed my locks, padlocked the door and put up an eviction notice.
+:'''Landlord''': Yeah, that was me.
-: '''Landlord''': I already got all your personal possessions for you. Your entire inventory consisisted of a couple of psycho magazines and a jar of mustard.
+:'''Otto''': You? But, why?
-: '''Otto''': I don't believe it!...I have mustard?
+:'''Landlord''': Because you haven't paid your rent.
+:'''Otto''': Well, can I at least get my stuff?
+:'''Landlord''': All I found in there was a jar of mustard and a couple of old Psycho magazines.
+:'''Otto''': (astonished) Wow... I had mustard?
 ----
-: '''Marge''': Otto, you can't watch TV all day.
+:'''Marge''': Otto, you can't watch TV all day.
+:'''Otto''': You're right. I should do some reading. You got any "Where's Waldo" books?
+:'''Marge''': No.
-: '''Otto''': You're right. I should do some reading. You got any "Where's Waldo" books?
+:'''Otto''': A book from a vampire’s point of view?
-: '''Marge''': No.
+:'''Marge''': No.
+:'''Otto''': Anything where guys send in naked pictures of their chicks?
-: '''Otto''': A book from a vampire’s point of view?
+:'''Marge''': Otto, I think you should get a job.
+:'''Otto''': The only job I was good at was driving a bus, and now "the man" says I need a piece of paper to do that.
-: '''Marge''': No.
-: '''Otto''': Anything where guys send in naked pictures of their chicks?
-: '''Marge''': Otto, I think you should get a job.
-: '''Otto''': The only job I was good at was driving a bus, and now "the man" says I need a piece of paper to do that.
 ----
-: (Otto starts playing guitar loudly.)
+:(Otto starts playing guitar loudly.)
+:'''Homer''': Will you knock it off!? I can't hear myself think.
-: '''Homer''': Will you knock it off!? I can't hear myself think.
 (Otto stops.)
+:'''Homer's Head''': I want some peanuts.
-: '''Homer's Head''': I want some peanuts.
+:'''Homer''': That's better.
-: '''Homer''': That's better.
 ----
-: '''Patty''': Hello, my name is Patty. I will be testing you. When you're doing well, I use the green pen. When you're doing poorly I use the red pen. Any questions?
+:'''Patty''': My name is Patty. I will be testing you. When you're doing good, I use the green pen. When you're doing bad I use the red pen. Any questions?
+:'''Otto''': Yeah, one. Have you always been a chick? I don't want to offend you but were you were born a man? You can tell me, I'm open minded.
+:''Patty drops green pen.''
-: '''Otto''': Where you a man once? You can tell me, I'm open minded.
+:'''Patty''': I won't be needing this.
-: ''Patty drops green pen.''
-: '''Patty''': I won't be needing this.
 ----
-: '''Homer''': Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!
+:'''Homer''': Of course I'm not mad. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!
 ----
-: '''Homer''': All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage.
+:'''Homer''': All right, he can stay. But I get to treat him like garbage.
+:'''Otto''': Wow! What's the catch?
-: '''Otto''': Wow! What's the catch?
 ----
-: '''Bart''': Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recording it.
+:'''Bart''': Mom, I thought you might forget our little conversation this afternoon, so I took the precaution of recording it.
+:'''Marge''': What conversation?
+:'''Bart''': (on tape) Mom, can Otto live in our garage for as long as he wants? (impression of Marge) He sure can!
-: '''Marge''': What conversation?
+:'''Homer''': Marge! What were you thinking?
+:'''Marge''': That's not my voice!
-: '''Bart''': (on tape) Mom, can Otto live in our garage for as long as he wants? (impression of Marge) He sure can!
+:'''Homer''': Oh, everybody says that when they hear themselves on tape.
-: '''Homer''': Marge! What were you thinking?
-: '''Marge''': That's not my voice!
-: '''Homer''': Oh, everybody says that when they hear themselves on tape.
 ----
-: '''Marge''': I know we did not ask for this Homer, but does not the Bible say "Whatsoever you do unto the least of my children, that which you do unto Me?"
+:'''Marge''': I know we didn't ask for this Homer, but doesn't the Bible say "Whatsoever you do unto the least of my children, that which you do unto Me?"
+:'''Homer''': Yes, but doesn't the bible also say "Thou shalt not...take moochers into thy hut."
-: '''Homer''': I think it also says "Thou shalt not...take moochers into thy hut."
 ----
-: '''Skinner''': It's a miracle nobody was hurt.
+:'''Skinner''': It's a miracle nobody was hurt.
+:'''Otto''': I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality.
-: '''Otto''': I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality
 ----
-: '''Homer''': Now, boy, we spent a lot of money, so you'd better get real good real fast, or POW!
+:'''Homer''': Now, boy, we spent a lot of money, so you'd better get real good real fast, or POW!
+:'''Marge''': Homer!
+:'''Homer''': Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.
-: '''Marge''': Homer!
-: '''Homer''': Hey, I thought I was supposed to encourage him.
 ----
+:'''[Principal Skinner's office; Otto is under arrest for reckless driving]'''
-: '''Lou''': Let’s see your license, pal!
+:'''Skinner:''' Oh, it's a miracle no one was hurt!
+:'''Otto:''' Oh, I stand on my record. Fifteen crashes and not a single fatality!
-: '''Otto''': No can-do, never got one. But if you need proof of my identity I wrote my name on my underwear. Oh wait, these aren't mine!
+:'''Lou:''' Let’s see your license, pal.
+:'''Otto:''' No can do. Never got one.
+:'''[Skinner palms his forehead]'''
+:'''Otto:''' But if you need proof of my identity I wrote my name on my underwear. '''[Checks his undies]''' Oh wait, these aren't mine.
+:'''Skinner:''' Well, that tears it. Until you get a license and wear your own underwear, mister, you are suspended without pay!
+:'''Otto:''' Who's gonna drive the bus?!
+:'''Skinner:''' I drove an all-terrain vehicle in Da Nang. '''[Stands up]''' I think I can handle it.
 ----
-: '''Nelson''': Hey Simpson, what are you trying to play?
+:'''Nelson''': Hey Simpson, what are you trying to play?
+:'''Bart''': Polly-Wally-Doodle.
-: '''Bart''': Polly-Wally-Doodle.
+:'''Nelson''': Oh yeah, well it sounds Polly-Wally-Crappy.
-: '''Nelson''': Oh yeah, well it sounds Polly-Wally-Crappy.
 ----
-: '''Martin''': Although I'm sure I will receive a severe wedgie from my bus-mates, I must remind you that we should have been at school
+:'''Martin''': Although I'm sure I will receive a severe wedgie from my bus-mates, I must remind you that we should have been at school 10 minutes ago.
+:'''Otto''': Uh oh, better fasten your seatbelts, little dudes.
-minutes ago.
+:'''Lisa''': We don't have seatbelts.
-: '''Otto''': Uh oh, better fasten your seatbelts, little dudes.
+:'''Otto''': Uh, well, then just try to go limp.
-: '''Lisa''': We don't have seatbelts.
-: '''Otto''': Uh, well, then just try to go limp.
 ----
-: '''Bart''': Otto, you are the coolest adult ever!
+:'''Bart''': Otto, you are the coolest adult ever!
+:'''Otto''': Wow! I've never been called an adult before, I've been tried as one but.
-: '''Otto''': Wow! I've never been called an adult before, but I've been tried as one.
 ----
-: '''Bart''': Otto-Man? You're living in a dumpster?
+:'''Bart''': Otto-Man? You're living in a dumpster?
+:'''Otto''': Ho, man, I wish. Dumpster-brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit.
-: '''Otto''': Ho, man, I wish. Dumpster-brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit.
 ----
-: '''Otto''': I guess I am a bum...
+:'''Otto''': I don't know about this, Bart dude. Your dad was right, I am a bum...
+:'''Bart''': He didn't call you a bum, he called you a sponge.
-: '''Bart''': Homer didn't call you a bum, he called you a sponge.
+:'''Otto''': SPONGE?! (Punches wall) I'll show him what this sponge can do!
-: '''Otto''': SPONGE?! (Punches wall) I'll show him what this sponge can do!
 ----
-: '''Spinal Tap''': I just walked out there and there’s puddles of water all over the freakin’ stage.
+:'''Spinal Tap''': I just walked out there and there’s puddles of water all over the freakin’ stage.
+:'''Rock Fan''': Huh, I don’t want to lie to you boys. Six days a week this place is a hockey rink.
+:'''Spinal Tap''': Yeah, well this is a rock concert, not the bleeding splish splash show.
-: '''Guy''': Huh, I don’t wanna lie to you boys. Six days a week this place is a hockey rink.
-: '''Spinal Tap''': Yeah, well this is a rock concert, not the bleeding splish splash show.
 ----
-: '''Spinal Tap''': Well, it seems some silly twit did not get a big enough oxygen tank, but that's supposed to be a devil. Filled up with air it's very evil and impressive. We salute you, our half inflated Dark Lord!
+:'''Spinal Tap''': Well, it seems some silly twit did not get a big enough oxygen tank, but that's supposed to be a devil. Filled up with air it's very evil and impressive. We salute you, our half inflated Dark Lord!
 ----
-: '''Kent Brockman''': Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporter’s opinion, the answer, sadly, is 'yes'.
+:'''Kent Brockman''': Of course, it would be wrong to suggest this sort of mayhem began with rock-and-roll. After all, there were riots at the premiere of Mozart's "The Magic Flute." So, what's the answer? Ban all music? In this reporter’s opinion, the answer, sadly, is 'yes'.
 ----
-: '''Bart''': Mom, I wanna be a rockstar.
+:'''Bart''': Mom, I want to be a rockstar.
+:'''Marge''': Hmmmmm we'll discuss it later. Is Milhouse okay?
-: '''Marge''': Hmmmmm we'll discuss it later. Is Milhouse okay?
+:'''Homer''': Uh, I'll be right back....
+:'''Milhouse''': [at the arena lying under a pile of folding chairs] Heeeelp.
-: '''Homer''': Uh, I'll be right back....
-: '''Milhouse''': [at the arena lying under a pile of folding chairs] Heeeelp.
 ----
-: '''Homer''' [singing]: There was a little Spanish flea. A record star he thought he'd be. He heard of singers like Beatles, The Chipmunks he'd seen on TV. Why not a little Spanish flea? And so he hid inside a dog...
+:'''Homer''' [singing]: There was a little Spanish flea. A record star he thought he'd be. He heard of singers like Beatles, The Chipmunks he'd seen on TV. Why not a little Spanish flea? And so he hid inside a dog...
 ----
+:'''Marge:''' I don't understand why don't you stay with your parents?
-: '''Principal Skinner''' [to Otto]: Well, that tears it. Until you get a license and wear your own underwear, mister, you are suspended without pay!
+:'''Otto: '''The admiral and I don't get along.
 ----
-: '''Otto''': Please let me stay here. I've got nowhere else to go!
+:'''Otto''': Please let me stay here. I've got nowhere else to go.
+:'''Homer''': Forget it. That line didn't work for my dad, and it's not going to work for you.
-: '''Homer''': Forget it! That line didn't work for my dad, and it's not going to work for you!
 ----
-: '''Homer''': Listen, you drain-clogging, last-cookie-eating, collect-call-getting sponge! I want you out of my house!
+:'''Homer''': Listen, you drain-clogging, last-cookie-eating, collect-call-getting sponge! I want you out of my house!
 ----
-: '''Bart''': Rough day, Apu? Help me a squishee and don't spare the syrup.
+:'''Bart''': Rough day, Apu? Help me a squishee and don't spare the syrup.
+:'''Apu''': Oh, perhaps you would like to try an experimental flavor of my own concoction. A delicious Chutney Squishee.
+:'''Bart''': Oh... okay…slurp
-: '''Apu''': Oh, perhaps you would like to try an experimental flavor of my own concoction. A delicious Chutney Squishee.
+:'''Apu''': You can really taste the chutney!
-: '''Bart''': Oh... okay…slurp
-: '''Apu''': You can really taste the chutney!
 ----
+:'''Bart:''' Otto Mann where'd you learn how to play the guitar?
-: '''Otto''': *chuckles* And my dad thought I'd never amount to anything. Hahahahehe...Hmm...
+:'''Otto: '''It's all I ever did in high school, but my Old man said I was wasting my time and I'd never amount to anything.
 ----
+:'''Homer: '''Boy, some of the best times I’ve ever had were in the back seat of a car.
+----
-: '''Homer: '''Boy, some of the best times I’ve ever had were in the back seat of a car..
+:'''Otto''': I want to take the test again!
+:'''Patty''': Why?
+:'''Otto''': So I can staple my license on Homer Simpson's big bald head!
+:'''Patty''': ''(changes her demeanor upon hearing Homer's name)'' Really!
+----
+:''(During the driving test)''
+:'''[[Otto]]''': Homer had a piece of food stuck to his face for three days!
+:''(Patty laughs as Otto tells her more stories of Homer and his crude behavior)''
+:'''Otto''': And it wasn't little either, it was a chicken wing!
+:'''Patty''': ''(laughing)'' Wing!
 {{Season|3|Quo}}
 {{DEFAULTSORT:Otto Show/Quotes}}
-[[Category:Season 3]]