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"The President Wore Pearls" |
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- Groundskeeper Willie: [offscreen in the Teacher's Lounge, mocking Milhouse] Look at me! I'm Milhouse! I've tucked me shirt into me underpants!
- Teachers: [laughing]
- Groundskeeper Willie: [continuing the mockery] I've got no friends, so I've confided Willie!
- Teachers: [laughing]
- Ralph: Lisa is a sellout! Lisa is a sellout! Lisa, what's a sellout?
- Homer: (dressed in a tutu) My name is Nelson, I use a salad fork, la-de-da, I wash my face.
- Marge: Where did you get that tutu?
- Homer: Clothesline. (runs off giggling and throwing flowers in the air)
- Homer: (to Lisa) I'm not driving 45 minutes a day! You can't go to that school!
- Lisa: But this is my dream!
- Homer: Why can't you have a normal dream, like being an Olympic figure-skater?
- Lisa: Okay, let me take figure-skating.
- Homer: Are you crazy? I'm not getting up at 6:30 every morning so you can prance around a frozen pond and think you're better than me.
- Lisa: Well, what can I be?
- Homer: I dunno, how about a horse whisperer?
- Lisa: Okay!
- Homer: Over my dead body!
- Bart: Lisa is a nut, she has a rubber butt, every time she turns around, it goes putt-putt.
- Marge: (while at the school's Vegas Night) I really shouldn't be here. I have a problem with games of chance. I played Candy Land with Maggie and ended up throwing vodka in her face.
- Skinner: Our budget is stretched tighter than Mother's sauna pants.
- (Agnes shows up in a pink sauna suit)
- Agnes: Seymour, quit using me in analogies.
- Skinner: Yes, Mother!
- Bart: Wake up, Lisa. Skinner is using you like a pawn in his unholy chess set.
- Homer: On my chess set, the pawns are all Hamburglars.
- Nelson: (singing) I am Iron Man. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do Vote for me! Nah, screw it.