The Great Simpsina
The Real Housewives of Fat Tony
Homer Scissorhands
Marge: In a good marriage you never say, "I told you so."
Homer: Which is good for me because you're always right.

Homer: He's cheating on Selma? Why go out for hamburger when you have rancid steak at home?

Tushy: Every light in the house is a tanning light.
Marge: Can you read by it?
Tushy: You know, no one's ever tried.

Marge: The only husband of Selma's I ever liked was Disco Stu. He was so upbeat until he found out she didn't like disco music.

Marge: He's mad about a sport result.
Homer: Lousy St. Louis Cardinals can't win the 1985 World Series on classic sports.

Comic Book Guy: How do you know the bride?
Marge: I'm her sister, you?
Comic Book Guy: I bought her ping pong table off cragislist. Color yourself slighted.

Fat Tony: Call that doctor that owes us a favor.
Louie: Actually we owe him a favor.
Fat Tony: Do him two favors and then remind him that he owes us a favor.

Louie: We had a safe full of gold and it didn't ride that low.

(Fit) Fat Tony: I'd like to submit a change of address.
Selma: Leaving Mockingbird Lane, Mr. Munster?
(Fit) Fat Tony: Excuse me?
Lisa: (worried) Dad! Aunt Selma is treating a mob boss like an ordinary taxpayer!
Homer: (excited) And we've got front row seats!

Homer: Aww, I was standing in this line to use the bathroom, but now my license is expired.

(at Selma and Tony's wedding)
Homer: Yes! I am so happy I lived to see this day. He did give her the kiss of death, right?
Marge: No!
Homer: (disappointed groans) Aww! I decorated her car for nothing.
(cut to a car outside with banners reading "JUST MURDERED")

Fat Tony: Selma, would you do me the honor of spending the rest of my life with me?
Selma: Oh, Fat Tony. If there was an Italian word for yes, I would be saying it right now.

Homer: Well, if it isn't Before and After. Blob and blob lite. Tweedle-yuck and Tweedle-yech.
Fat Tony: Ahem! Am I interrupting anything?
Homer: Fat Tony! I was just complimenting your beautiful wife while insulting her identical twin.
Marge: You'll have to excuse my husband. He says things without thinking first. And ten seconds later...
Homer: (scared) Oooh! My god!

Lisa: This is our home. There's nothing buried here except hopes and dreams.

Lisa: That's a truffle.
Bart: You're a truffle!
Lisa: A truffle is a rare underground fungus that grows on the roots of trees.
Bart: Leave it to you to make tree poop boring.

Homer: Can we bring towels?
Fat Tony: We have towels.
Homer: (whispers) I take a special size.

Fat Tony: I like you. I don't know whether to smack you on your kisser or kiss you on your smacker.
Selma: And I don't know whether to peck you on your kicker or kick you on your...

Homer: Cant we stay a little longer? The Occurrence and I were going to go get broiled.
Marge: Sorry, The Occurrence, but to use your lingo, I have to be "that guy".
The Occurrence: Whoa, whoa! You don't want to be that guy?
Homer: I don't want to be that guy, but she's making me be that guy.
Marge: Enough!

Selma: Marge, if I ever get proposed again, please gouge my eyes out.
Louie: We can teach you how to do it too. The secret is not to stop until you hear a pop.

Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23
Elementary School MusicalLoan-a LisaMoneyBARTTreehouse of Horror XXILisa Simpson, This Isn't Your LifeThe Fool MontyHow Munched is That Birdie in the Window?The Fight Before ChristmasDonnie FatsoMoms I'd Like to ForgetFlaming MoeHomer the FatherThe Blue and the GrayAngry Dad: The MovieThe Scorpion's TaleA Midsummer's Nice DreamLove is a Many Strangled ThingThe Great SimpsinaThe Real Housewives of Fat TonyHomer Scissorhands500 KeysThe Ned-liest Catch
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