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The Regina Monologues |
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- Bart: Who's picture is on the bill?
- Moe: It'll have to be someone famous, I'm gonna say... Hitler.
- Snake: Um, does the bill have bank teller blood on it?
- Lisa: No, it doesn't.
- Snake: I'm sorry I wasted your time.
- Squeaky Voiced English Teen: Welcome to Judi Dench's Fish and Chips. Now completely free of mad fish disease.
- Homer: Fish? I don't know… I’m not really a vegetarian.
- Squeaky Voiced English Teen: Please order or Miss Dench will be furious. She'll beat us, she will.
- Judi Dench: Who are you talking to?
- Squeaky Voiced English Teen: No one, Mum! I swear!
- Judi Dench: I'll Mum you!
- Squeaky Voiced English Teen: Ahh!...oof!...ow!...oh!...Blimey!
- Lisa: Press the gray brick in the back of the fireplace.
- Homer: Sweet freedom, here I…Owww!
- Lisa: Put out the fire first!
- Homer: Well Marge, you gotta admit, I've been on my best behavior this trip.
- Marge: You punched out three people on the street.
- Homer: That was over soccer results. Can you believe they gave Giggs a yellow card in the box?
- Marge: Do you understand any part of what you just said?
- Homer: I understood the word 'gave'…unless it means something else in this country!
- Homer: Marge I'll be on my best behavior. You have my word as a gentlemen and a lady. Now let's see, which rifle should I bring?
- Homer: (After meeting Tony Blair) Wow, I can't believe we just met Mr. Bean!
- Lisa: Look! It's J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter books! You've turned a generation of kids onto reading.
- Rowling: Thank you, young muggle.
- Lisa: Can you tell me what happens at the end of the series?
- Rowling: He grows up and marries you. Is that what you want to hear?
- Lisa: Yes…
- Homer: (After being convicted) I've been jailed on six continents. All I have to do is kill a penguin.
- Lisa: Oh, my God. We've made a terrible mistake. This tunnel comes out in the worst possible place!
- Bart: An elephant's butt?
- Lisa: (sarcastically) Yes, Bart. An elephant's butt.