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The Saga of Carl |
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- Homer: What the...? Change the channel? But I'm watching soft-core tennis.
- Bart and Lisa: Ki-Ya Karate Monsters!
- Homer: What the hell is that?
- Bart: It's our favorite show.
- Lisa: Mom said we could watch it.
- Marge: No!
- Homer: You like this now? What about Planet Jackson and the Earth Brigade?
- Bart: Dad, we don't watch that show anymore!
- Lisa: It's for babies! (Maggie drops one of the toys)
- Homer: Guys, this science exhibit told me how stupid it is to play the lottery.
- Moe: Whoa, whoa, whoa. So you didn't buy our weekly ticket?
- Homer: Are you nuts? You can't win if you don't play.
- Carl: Hey it's time. Turn it on, turn it on! Moe turns on TV using Remote
- Homer: 4 Lucky numbers for 4 best friends.
- Moe: Yeah, I always go with 3, the number of brothers and sisters I, uh, Hunger Games-ed in the womb.
- Lenny: 19 for me Uh, for the best year of my life, 1996.
- Carl: My Number's 22. No reason. Just... 22.
- Homer: And I'm 69 Because people always laugh when you say "69." No one knows why.
- Kent: And the winning numbers are... 3, 19, 22, and 69. (laughing)
- Lenny: Oh, my gosh. We won We won the Springfield Lottery.
- Moe: That's 200 grand. That's 50,000 bucks each!
- Homer: We talk about guy stuff. Like baseball and trucks and when guys lift too much weight and their bungus drops out. You know, guy stuff.
- Marge: Maybe if you talked less about guy stuff, you'd know more about your so-called history.
- Moe: Well, it don't matter no more, Midge. Carl is gone, and we're already auditioning replacements.
- Marge: What The!
- Moe: (as Lenny fights Carl) When the nice ones snap, it's always a good show.
- Homer: Yes!
- Lenny: Carl Carlson is our friend, even if he doesn't believe it.
- Moe: If we can forgive Carl for stealing our lottery winnings, maybe youse can find it in youse's hearts to forgive his ancestors.