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The Scorpion's Tale |
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- Nelson: It’s so hot… I want to wedgie the sun.
- Abe: (While on Silver-Tongue), now what can I do for your. Eat something green, vote for someone Brown?
- Lisa: (Knowing that Homer put Silver-Tongue in Abe’s coffee), Dad, I know what you did. (Homer tries to run)… and I locked the back-door.
- Homer: (Off-screen) D-Oh!
- Seymour Skinner: Now, class, I hope you have a pleasant day here at Satan's Anvil. I don't know why the early settlers named it that, and I guess we never will. (Camera shows an increasingly obvious sandstone statue of the Devil hammering at his anvil, sunlight glinting in between his horns)
- Homer: (Making his voice sound like a little girls and making people think Maggie wants Grandpa as a roommate): Me, me! I want him every night forever and ever, because I love my -(Maggie puts her bow in Homer's mouth to silence him)
- Walter Hotenhoffer: These are my Suitcase Suzies, who will use their beauty and free give aways to make sure our drug is perscribed.
- Bart: (Noticing that the women look nearly identical) Cool! Are they robots?
- Woman: No robots can develop human feelings. We're graduates of Arizona state.
- Walter Hotenhoffer: I scoop them up by the sorority.
- Marge: (Realizing where he is) Uh, this is the nerd fraternity.
- Walter Hotenhoffer: Ugh. Dump them in Research.
- (The fraternity is dropped in an Advanced Research Facility)
- Nerd: Nice!
- (In Bart's bedroom)
- Abe: (To Bart, who's trying to read a comic book) Nose in a funny book, how rude! Ain't you never heard of conversation?
- Bart: (sighs) Fine. How's it going?
- Abe: Terrible! I got this new roommate and he won't stop yapping!
- (In Lisa's bedroom)
- Abe: (To Lisa, who is experimenting the flower effect on scorpions) Here's an experiment for you: Find a man who wants to marry a lady poindexter! (laughs)
- (In Homer and Marge's bedroom)
- Abe: (To Homer and Marge, who are having sex) Hey! You call that making love?
- Marge: Homer, I told you he wouldn't sleep through it.
- Abe: In my day, women didn't make a sound!