[Homer wakes up from a dream about The Land of Chocolate]
Homer: Not dreaming, not dreaming, not drea... Wha...? Dammit, I was dreaming! Why is life so unfair? All I want is the ability to eat everything in sight and turn into a giant ball?! Is that too much to ask?! Damn you, reality!

White Chocolate Rabbit: Excuse me, fatty. You're eating our world!
Homer: Hey! You look like that rabbit thing from that book about a girl named Alice who goes to Wonderland! What was it called? Oh yeah, Snow White in Stupidtown!

[After finding the "The Simpsons Game" guide]
Bart: "The Simpsons Game"? The only Simpsons game I can think of is the one where we pretend dad isn't an alcoholic.

[At the Japanese land in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game]
Homer: Okay, I'm in this stupid Japanese game. But I'm not eating sushi, unless it's covered in chocolate and there's no sushi in it.
Lisa: An ancient Japanese village. I love learning about any culture, except American.

[At Matt Groening's mansion in Five Characters in Search of an Author]
Homer: This mansion is even bigger then the inside of Snoopy's dog house!

Bart: I'm like Spider-Man in a Batman costume.

Lisa: No game is safe from an industry that's always changing. Sure "The Simpsons Game" is fun, with its unique upgradable character abilities and its hilarious self-referencial cutscenes, but what about when the Xbox 720 comes out? Or the Playstation 4? No one will want to play us then!

[After Bart and Lisa destroy Mr. Burns' lumbering plant in Lisa the Tree Hugger]
Mr. Burns: All I wanted was to destroy our delicate ecosystem. And this is the thanks I get. [sighs]
Smithers: I'm sorry, sir. Want me to get some goons to rough up Al Gore?
Mr. Burns: I'd like that.
[Smithers pulls his cellphone out]

[Inisde Mayor Quimby's pool]
EA Executive: Congratulations, Quimby. You've made Grand Theft Scratchy Day a tremendous success.
Mayor Quimby: Thank you, ----. Why don't we celebrate with some interns?

[At the game engine in Bargain Bin]
Homer: Oh, my God! It's a nerd!
Will Wright: That's right. The nerdiest nerd in all the computerverse! [laughs]
Lisa: Dad, that's Will Wright. Designer of Sim City and The Sims.
Will Wright: Don't forget my biggest flop: Sim Sandwich. Its failure drove me mad. Mad!

[At their spaceship, watching Bart and Lisa talking to Captain McCallister after they defeated the dolphins]
Kodos: They foiled our plot. We must have revenge!
Kang: Revenge!
Kodos: Vengeance!
Kang: Revenge!
Kodos: Payback is ours!
[An oven rings]
Kang: The mini-eggrolls are done.
[They take out a tray of eggrolls and start eating them]
Kodos: Eggrolls!
Kang: Delicious!
Kodos: Hot! Revenge!
Kang: Revenge!
Kodos: Eggrolls!
Kang: Dipping sauce!
Kodos: Eggrolls!
[Slight pause]
Kang: Revenge!

[A video game cartridge opens revealing pixelated versions of the Simpsons]
Homer: Wow. We look so pixely!
Bart: And poorly rendered.
Marge: Which one's supposed to be me?
Lisa: [to Will Wright] Don't destroy them! They may be obsolete but they're still... alive.
8-bit Homer: Help! He's crazy!
8-bit Bart: If he destroys us, we'll never escape from Krusty Island!
8-bit Marge: I'm Marge!
Homer: (to Will Wright) You can't do this!
Will Wright: Of course I can! I'm Will Wright, bitch, and pretty soon when there's a new better Simpsons game than the one you're from, I'll destroy you, too!

[After being transported to the game engine]
Marge: Where are we?
Lisa: We're in the game engine. If our life's a video game, then this is the factory where it was made.
Homer: That's ridiculous! I'm not a video game character, I'm a real-life person with dreams and feelings. [He accidentally walks off a ledge and falls, only to reappear next to them again] Alright, fine. I'm a video game guy.
Marge: Now can I ask a question? If this is a videogame, where do we put the quarters?

[Lenny and Carl are up a tree watching birds]
Lenny: [A bird chirps] Hey, that sounds like a tree swallow.
Carl: No, it sounds like a yellow crowned heron. [Saw noises] Oh my god! That sounds like a chainsaw!
Lenny: No, that sounds like a buzzsaw. [The tree falls with them on it on a conveyor belt and get trapped under the debris] Hey Carl, why do we fight so much?
Carl: Sometimes I think it's all we have left.

[In live, showing Lard Lad destroying the city]
Kent Brockman: [Being filmed, Homer and Bart run towards Lard Lad and push Kent out of the way. He gets up and chases Homer and Bart] Good evening, Springfield. Kent Brockman here, chasing local imbecile Homer Simpson and his delinquent son Bart, who have picked a fight with an out-of-control Donut Mascot statue. [To Bart] Bart Simpson, are you and your father insane?
Homer: [Grabs the mike] Hi, Lenny, I'm on TV! I said your name on TV - don't tell Carl! Unless he's watching this, in which case: hi, Carl, don't tell Lenny I said your name!
[Homer and Bart continue running and Kent gets in a helicopter]

[In the creator's mansion garden]
Bart: This is it...the home of our creator! I say we smash his face, bust his stuff, and take a leak on his lawn!
Homer: Way ahead of you, boy! [Homer is peeing on the dollar sign-shaped bushes. Bart laughs and does the same while a camera sees them. On his office, the creator is sit on his chair and turns around, revealing he is Matt Groening]
Matt Groening: [sees Homer and Bart through a screen] So they want a war?! Well, then it's a war they'll get! Violet, engage the super toon defense systems!
Violet: Yes, Mister Groaning.
Matt: It's "Grey-ning"!
Violet: Are you sure?
Matt: No.
[Homer and Bart arrive to his office]
Bart: I bet you our creator is like a thousand foot Godzilla, with big boobs and he breathes fire snot.
Matt: Think again, your creator is TV's most beloved animation visionary.
Homer: Seth MacFarlane?
Matt: Aah! [speaking in a french accent] Say hello to my little friends. [Draws a picture of Bender and Dr. Zoidberg that comes to life.]

[At the Heaven, after defeating God in a Dance Dance Revolution game]
Bart: All right, loser! You stop the destruction of our town and give us some answers, or these save games go in the drink! [shows God's "Infinite MB Memory Card"]
God: No! My saved games! Stop! I'm on the final boss fight in Oblivion, and I can't start again from the beginning!

(Homer and Bart are fighting the Rigellians)
Homer: Attaboy! Kill things that are different!
Homer: Kill them, Bart! They are ugly like Patty and Selma combined!

(at the realm of Mr. Dirt in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game)
Homer: You got to admit, the Japanese makes a great DVD player.
Mr. Dirt: Irrashamasei, Lisa. That means "Welcome". The Lisa means Lisa.
Mr. Dirt: No offence Mr. Simpson, but I got to destroy you. Sorry.
Mr. Dirt: You're all gonna pay! (when Homer and Lisa attack Comic Book Guy sumos)
Jimbo: Hey lame-wads! Follow me so I can totally stomp your butts!
Jimbo: (after he lost the battle) Way to go, Ratachu-lax! (screams in frustration)

(in NeverQuest, Marge is rescuing the hobbits while Homer fights Selmatty)
Marge: Over here, you little idiots!
Marge: I'm like Gandalf, but sexy.
Homer: This is like one of these Police Academy movies.

(in NeverQuest, Marge and Homer are in Selmatty's dungeon)
Morc: Hi, I'm Orc Moe and I'm going to kick your ass in every way!
Homer: You shall not pass! Wind!
Morc: Angry berserker Orc Moe!
Homer: Hey middle-earthies! Eat my sword! Hope that doesn't sound too gay.
Homer: (in Helium Homer mode) Wow! I'm flying! I wonder if it's science or magic or super farts?
Morc: Uh, I peed my orc diaper.
Homer: This is for teaching you a lesson for someone who can't watch 5 minutes of Lord of the Rings before falling asleep!

(In NeverQuest, Homer and Marge are in the maze with the overhead view)
Announcer: Save keys to open doors.
Announcer: I like eggs.
Announcer: Homer needs food badly.
Announcer: Marge is about to die.
Announcer: Homer, your health bar is running low.
Homer: Oh, can't you say something more positive?
Announcer: Homer is about to die.
Homer: No, you're about to die!

(In Shadow of the Colossal Donut, Homer and Bart are fighting miniature Krusty dolls)
Homer: Ew, tiny bugs dressed like clowns!
Homer: (in Helium Homer mode) Heeheeheeheeheehee, me floatie.
Homer: (in Helium Homer mode) Look at me! I'm bloating like a princess!

(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Homer and Lisa are fighting earth sumos)
Homer: Dude, get your shirt on!
Lisa: You're not a very good host!
Lisa: You're a culture vampire!

(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Homer and Lisa are in the volcano realm)
Lisa: I'm sensing some volcanic activity dad.
Homer: (while fighting the fire sumos) Your breath smells like pumice!

(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Homer and Lisa are in the glacier realm)
Comic Book Guy Ice Sumo: We're going to flame you! Oh wait, we're ice now. Sorry.
Comic Book Guy Ice Sumo: Here comes the abominable snow nerd!
Comic Book Guy Ice Sumo: The beautiful...
Lisa: I could really go for a daikon radish right now.
Lisa: (fighting ice sumos) Might be chilly without a shirt on!
Homer: (fighting ice sumos) Frosty the Snowman kisses your mother!
Ralph: It's my turn to play! Yippee!
Ralph: I made ice poo!
Ralph: Roundhouse Ninja Attack Turtle!
Ralph: (after his sparklemon is defeated) Daddy, these two strangers have taken my Sparkle-man! Stranger danger! Stranger danger!

(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Lisa and Homer are going to the sky realm)
Homer: Uh, I don't know if I'm going to be air-sick or seasick!
Homer: (fighting sky sumos) Bring it, skyhole.
Homer: (fighting sky sumos) Sky Sumo! Come out and play!
Homer: (fighting sky sumos) Is the rain your pee? Let's fight!
Sherri: Oh, Lisa, I heard Mr. Dirt has a crush on you!
Milhouse: Shut up, guys! Jeez!

(in Big Super Happy Fun Fun Game, Lisa and Homer are fighting Sherri and Terri's Dirty Donkey)
Sherri: Terri let you win, she totally had a crush on you.
Terri: Oh, my God! (hits Sherri on the elbow) Will you shut up?! I'm serious!
Mr. Sparkle: Head without body eat all day never up-throw! (cleans off by Donkey Sparkelmon into a Pokemon ball and Homer catches a third sparkle on ball)
Milhouse: Oh, man! You beat the third one, too?! Fine. Whatever. I'm gonna cry at the Temple of the Two Moons. So don't follow me! I mean it!

(In Five Characters in Search of an Author, Homer and Bart are fighting Matt Groening's thugs)
Bender: I'm gonna go I-Robot on your asses!
Bender: Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate!
Bender: Aw, I broke my hard drive!
Bender: I'm gonna need a sexy robot nurse!
The Simpsons Game
Levels The Land of ChocolateBartman BeginsAround the World in 80 BitesLisa the Tree HuggerMob RulesEnter the CheatrixThe Day of the DolphinShadow of the Colossal DonutInvasion of the Yokel-SnatchersBargain BinNeverQuestGrand Theft ScratchyMedal of HomerBig Super Happy Fun Fun GameFive Characters in Search of an AuthorGame Over
Characters HomerBartLisaMargeMaggieEnemiesWhite Chocolate RabbitWill WrightMatt GroeningGodAbraham Simpson
Powers Homer BallHeli-HomerGumi-HomerBartmanHand of BuddhaMarge's Megaphone
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