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The Simpsons Summer Shindig 5 |
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The Simpsons Summer Shindig 5 is the fifth issue of The Simpsons Summer Shindig comic book series. It was released on May 25th, 2011.
Stories[]
Tales from the Springfield Bear Patrol[]
There is a new TV show called Celebrities Dancing with Bears, which is just what it sounds like. At Moe's Tavern, Homer Simpson, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, and Barney Gumble, are watching the show, despite having been through a lot of trouble relating to it. Barney can't remember, so Homer is about to tell the story, but gets distracted, so Lenny tells it.
The previous Saturday, Lenny is working as a weekend watchman for the Bear Patrol, and he gets a call regarding celebrities being attacked by bears. He assembles the team (with Homer arriving in his underwear since his uniform is in the wash) and they are called to the set of Celebrities Dancing with Bears.
After Marge Simpson gives Homer his uniform, Sideshow Mel explains that the bears attacked their partners out of the blue and then suddenly turned docile again. Then, the bears attack The Android's Dungeon & Baseball Card Shop, the Kwik-E-Mart (where they steal all of Apu's money), and a phone booth where Seymour Skinner and Edna Krabappel are.
The Bear Patrol has no idea how to stop these attacks, so they go to Moe's Tavern to commiserate, when Clancy Wiggum enters. He reveals that two days ago, he had jailed the bears, when three more bears broke in, attacked him, freed the others, and took his keys to unlock the door. Homer only agrees to keep working with his Bear Patrol colleagues if their salary is tripled (even though they are volunteers).
Homer goes to Lisa Simpson for advice, and she thinks they're being exploited and advises following the bears. In the park, Homer dresses in drag to act as bait (since bears are associated with attacking girls because of Goldilocks) and when he gets attacked, puts a tracer on one of the bears.
The Bear Patrolmen track the bears into a building, where the bears almost kill the men, only to suddenly fall asleep. Then, Arnie Pye enters with a device on his head, revealing that he was mind-controlling the bears. The guys tie him up, and he reveals that he did it because he wanted to destroy Celebrities Dancing with Bears in a fit of jealousy at not being allowed on it. Then, Frink bursts in and reveals that the device was of his invention and was designed specifically to control bears. He is about to ramble about the invention, when Homer knocks him unconscious.
Back in the present, it is revealed that Arnie was found not guilty due to there being no evidence of his committing the crime.
Fly Away Homer[]
The family is about to fly to Florida before going on an Itchy & Scratchy cruise, but Homer is kicked off the plane before take-off for being too fat. Marge and the kids fly off without him, so Homer tries to find a different airline, but they all say that he is too fat to fly, so Marge and the kids are forced to board the boat without him.
He makes a picket sign and gathers up a group of other fat men (Comic Book Guy, Fat Tony, Barney, and Wiggum) who also want to fly on planes, to protest against the "discrimination" of fatness, under the name Flying Freedom For Large And Bulky Souls (FFFLABS). Then, Lenny joins in due to being a "habitual joiner" even though he isn't fat.
Kent Brockman interviews Homer about FFFLABS, and Homer reveals he hasn't thought through how he will get the fat men allowed on the planes, eventually deciding to find "some rich guy" who will bankroll an airline specifically for fat people. He and the rest of FFFLABS go to beg Mr. Burns, who initially finds it ridiculous, until Smithers gives him statistics saying that 23% of Americans are obese, and they make up seven and a half million of the hundred million people who fly annually.
On the cruise, the kids eat lots of candy, drink milkshakes and Icees, and then eat popcorn at the movies. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns provides an old cattle transport plane for the fat people. It is rather beat-up, so Homer begins renovating it. Meanwhile, Marge is bored and has nothing to do but eat at the all-day buffet.
The plane is finally ready to be flown, but Homer is not allowed on it, as he has lost weight from working hard renovating it and is now too skinny. He stows away in the cargo hold and climbs onto the plane during flight. However, the plane is carrying too much weight, so they must jettison 160 pounds, which Homer now weighs.
He is thrown out of the plane, but thankfully he is wearing a parachute and lands in the pool on the cruise ship. There, he finds that Marge and the kids have become fat themselves due to their boredom-induced overeating. This means that three days later, they are too fat to be let on the plane.
Fur 'N' Hate 451[]
Bart, Milhouse Van Houten, Martin Prince, Jr., and Ralph Wiggum are watching Itchy & Scratchy, when Lisa enters and reveals that Bart is meant to be reading Farenheit 451 for his book report. Bart decides he will just watch the movie version, which comes on after Itchy & Scratchy, but Lisa points out that the whole premise of the book is that people are not allowed to read books. Bart, however, likes this idea.
Then, the news comes on, and Frink reveals that a dangerous meteor is coming that will either kill all of humanity or cut all of the world's power off. When the kids reveal that no electricity means no TV and therefore no Itchy & Scratchy, they decide to memorise their favourite episodes, like how the characters in Farenheit memorised books.
Milhouse remembers an episode where Scratchy is throwing a birthday party for a bunch of little Itchys, when one cuts off the tip of his tail and fills him up with helium, then ties him in knots and pops him. Martin, being a pacifist, memorises an episode from a time when the executives tried to edit out the violence, which was just Itchy and Scratchy going to the park.
Bart then remembers an episode where Scratchy is birdwatching, when Itchy cuts the rope bridge he is on, then Scratchy uses the remains of the rope to "water ski" from Itchy's boat but is halved by a crocodile. Then, Itchy cuts the rope, making Scratchy sink, and fish eat his top half and Itchy makes the remains of Scratchy and the fish into cat food. Ralph can't remember an episode, so he makes one up: Scratchy is teaching school, when he draws a meteor heading to Earth, and then it does.
Back in reality, Brockman and Frink reveal that the meteor is not going to hit Earth after all; it was just a mistake. Lisa points out that Bart never did his homework for his book report, so he decides to look something up online. Lisa, despite acknowledging that she no longer needs to, wants to tell an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon, so she does: Itchy works as a Frankenstein pastiche, having made a Scratchy monster and is just about to make a bride for him. Then, she kills him by shredding him to pieces, "Dr. Itchystein" makes the remains of the Scratchy monster into a harp and plays it, which sends out the Scratchy monster's spirit, which Itchy kills and marries the bride monster.
In the future, an elderly Lisa tells it to Milhouse and their three toddler grandchildren (a Lisa-esque girl, a Milhouse-esque boy, and a Bart-esque boy) and reveals that this future has no electricity. An elderly Bart and Martin are trying to make electricity work again, and the house is on a boat because all the icebergs have melted.
Trivia[]
- Lenny has a version of the real-life "Hang in there" poster.
- Homer sings the real-life song "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" when pretending to be a girl.
- Comic Book Guy mentions that "a pointy-eared wise man" once said, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one", referencing Spock from Star Trek: the Original Series.