|
The Simpsons Summer Shindig 7 |
|
The Simpsons Summer Shindig 7 is the seventh issue of The Simpsons Summer Shindig comic book series. It was released on May 29th, 2013.
Stories[]
Railroaded![]
The Simpsons are going on a train for a summer vacation, but the train is very tightly-packed, and it still hasn't moved even after an hour. Bart Simpson and Lisa Simpson get up to walk around, and in another hour, he finds a snack vendor, however, all he has to offer is "eggplant newtons" and flavoured toothpicks. Bart decides to go to the arcade, but it is downstairs, and Lisa reveals that the downstairs level has clogged toilets and movies with reality TV stars (which both she and Bart hate) playing.
A worker reveals he has one serving of dinner left, and all the passengers scramble to get it. Bart wanders onto the first-class car, where there is plenty of food to go around, and ends up seated next to Martin Prince, Jr.. When he enthuses about the luxuries of the first class car, Bart gets jealous and steals Martin's ticket, passing it off as his own. Thus, the two boys' seating arrangements are swapped.
Bart goes into the cabin that used to be Martin's and takes a bath, gets massaged, plays a video game, and has two manicures. He then asks for pizza at the next station stop, and at the time of the stop, Martin yells at Bart for sending him to the main coach, since the hangry passengers had been keeping him awake all night and a baby had urinated on his hat. To make matters worse, a train worker thinks Martin was bothering Bart and sends him back to the main coach.
Then, Lisa strangles Bart because she is so frustrated with her bad train ride. To appease Lisa, Bart pretends she was also booked for a first-class ride but lost her ticket, and it works. Lisa enjoys the fancy meal, but feels guilty for not sharing it with the parents and Maggie, so Bart gets Marge onto the first-class car by pretending he is Prince Martin and she is his lady-in-waiting. She misses Homer Simpson, so Bart sneaks him onto the first-class car, and now all of the Simpsons (including Maggie) are there.
However, Homer doesn't want the space to "go to waste", so he invites everyone else into the first-class car. Lisa finds this too crowded, so Bart trades back with Martin. The Simpsons are now okay with the coach section now that the other passengers are no longer there to bother them, but Martin is having trouble with the other passengers.
The Battle of the Batboys[]
Bart and Milhouse Van Houten are watching TV, when an ad comes on: there is a competition at the Springfield Stadium, and the winner gets to be batboy for the Springfield Isotopes, while the runner-up has their photo taken with a chimpanzee. The boys decide to sign up, but Bart is dubious when he realises the contestants have to practice with their fathers.
Bart practices with Homer, who is bad at baseball, and Milhouse reveals that Kirk Van Houten is also bad at baseball. Milhouse wishes he had a father who was less like him, then he sees an ad for an instructional video by the Isotopes' former slugger "Big Bill" McCloskey. Thus, Milhouse rents the video and pretends McCloskey is his "video dad". Bart sees Milhouse watching the video and thinks he is crazy.
On the day of the contest, the boys take part in "extreme groundskeeping", "loogie catching", peanut tossing, and flyball shagging. They have trouble, but still manage to come out on top, with Bart as the winner and Milhouse in second place. This makes Milhouse angry that he lost despite all his efforts, and then Chimpy begins throwing balls at the boys. This makes the men in charge make him the batboy, which disappoints both boys. However, they then cheer up and decide to practice for next year's competition, and Chimpy ends up playing poorly.
Sun Burns[]
The Simpsons go to the beach, only to find that Mr. Burns now owns it (because Mayor Quimby was drunk at the time Burns bought it). Nelson Muntz tries to swim anyway, only to find dolphins with The Hounds strapped on top. Mr. Burns reveals that he has also hired supermodels to stand around in their swimsuits and insult people's looks. When Homer gets insulted, he decides to leave, but Bart declares that since he is only ten, he can't be shamed by them, yet Burns also reveals that he has hired snipers to fire paintballs at the kids.
Mr. Burns sunbathes and gets a sunburn, so Smithers goes to help him, but one of the paintball snipers has bad eyesight and shoots him by mistake. He calls the police, but they stay in the car because one of the models insulted Clancy Wiggum. Homer, Marge, Bart, and Maggie have left, but Lisa has stayed behind to protest and Grampa has stayed behind because Homer forgot him, so they decide to save Burns.
They go onto a boat, and Grampa uses bacon (which he shoplifted from a grocery store for attention) to distract the Hounds while Lisa swims to the beach and uses mirrors to distract the vain supermodels and blind the paintball snipers. She bandages Burns up, so he decides to make the beach free to enter (though still charges a fee for exiting).
Judge Dredneck[]
On the last day of school, Bart plans to have an action-packed vacation, but within a month, he and Milhouse find nothing to do and so gain weight from inactivity. Marge signs the boys up for fitness camp, but they break the bus down and make a break for it, escaping to the "Springfield Redneck Zone", i.e. the rural part of town.
Homer and Marge go to the police, but there is no jurisdiction in the Redneck Zone. However, the police do agree to have Cletus Spuckler assist the Simpson parents. He puts on a makeshift protective suit and leads Homer into the Redneck Zone, where a group of children throws rocks at the two. Cletus asks them if they have seen any other kids, and they point them in the direction of Bart and Milhouse.
Homer and Cletus run into a mine field, and Homer sets off one of the mines mistaking it for a pizza. Luckily, the men are unharmed, but some other men hear the blast and capture Homer and Cletus. One of them, named Merle, decides to punish the men by having them fight in the "Thunderdome", yet there is already a fight going on there, and it is between Bart and Milhouse.
Cletus breaks free and fires potatoes at Merle from a potato-shooting gun, then Homer grabs the boys and the four of them escape. However, the boys find the Redneck Zone exciting and don't want to leave, so they go to come back and Cletus chases after them.
Trivia[]
- It is not revealed how Bart got Maggie into the first-class car, though perhaps Homer or Marge carried her in.
- Either Sherri Mackleberry or Terri Mackleberry insults Lisa by comparing her to Princess Bubblegum, a character from the cartoon series Adventure Time.