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The Simpsons Winter Wingding 7 |
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The Simpsons Winter Wingding 7 is the seventh issue of the Simpsons Winter Wingding comic book series. It was released on December 2012.
Stories[]
Kiss Me, Bart Simpson![]
Bart is in the schoolyard, running from a group of girls (including Sherri and Terri), who are holding mistletoe. He begs Lisa, who is eating lunch, for help, then she gets bowled over by the other girls, who are now accompanied by Ralph. The scene then flashes back to earlier in the morning.
In class, Krabappel explains that Springfield has a yearly, legally-required event called the "Mistletoe Run" which was invented to ensure all men, no matter how unattractive, landed wives. Bart has tried to escape the run by taking his name out of the fishbowl, but Skinner has the girls draw the names from a hat instead.
Then, Skinner declares that Bart is "this year's boy", explaining why he is being chased by girls. Sherri tries to kiss Bart but luckily she can't as she dropped her mistletoe, however, Terri then has a try. Bart escapes unkissed, and Terri kisses a tree by mistake, making Ralph think she's in love with it.
Bart is very hungry because it is lunchtime, so he steals Willie's Sloppy Joe and runs off. Willie tells the girls to bring it back, while Milhouse tries (and fails) to get a Christmas kiss from Lisa. While the girls continue to chase Bart, Skinner reveals that he rigged the system by writing Bart's name on all the papers to get revenge for "last week's mashed potato catastrophe".
Bart runs home, because according to the "reform rules" established in the late 80s, the contest is over once he gets home. Thus, the girls may not kiss him, but Marge does. Unfortunately, since she technically won, she takes him and the girls to a concert of a parody of Justin Bieber called Dustin Beeber, who Bart hates.
Grampa's Christmas Origins: Christmas Lights[]
Homer is putting the Christmas lights on the house, then asks Bart and Lisa to determine what they are caught on. It turns out to be Grampa, who claims to be stopping another War of the Worlds, stating that Christmas lights were invented by aliens.
He tells a story, which starts on Christmas Eve, 1947, in Roswell. Two Rigellians send a distress signal, which resembles Christmas lights, from their spaceship. The townsfolk (starting with a Ned Flanders lookalike) mistake the signals for a display and decorate their own houses with identical lights. This causes trouble, as the other Rigellians now can't find the ship.
In reality, Grampa claims that the alien spaceship collided with Santa's sleigh and killed the reindeer. Then, he finds that Homer and the kids have gone into the house, and he is tangled in the Christmas lights, so he stays there and thinks the aliens will take him.
Gift Exchange[]
Marge and the kids are dressed up fancy for Ned's annual Christmas social. Homer initially would rather stay at home and nap on the couch, but gets excited when he learns there is food at the social. As he changes, Marge worries because according to her, Homer tends to ruin Ned's Christmas parties.
At the party, Homer eats messily and hogs the snacks, gets drunk, dances with a lampshade on his head and a drape around him, and sings and plays the piano badly, to the chagrin of the other guests. Then, he takes off his shirt and puts decorations on himself, then kisses Ned under the mistletoe. This makes Ned lose patience and yell at Homer, kicking him out.
A few minutes later, Homer has sobered up and feels guilty about being a bad neighbour. Ned then apologises and gives him a present, to Homer's confusion. Ned explains that him being annoyed at Homer gives him an excuse to flex his "forgiveness muscles". Homer opens the present, but there is nothing in it, so Ned explains to put in something he borrowed but hasn't returned yet. Homer picks the riding lawn mower, to Ned's disappointment.
Grampa's Christmas Origins: Christmas Eggnog[]
Bart is bored at a Christmas party Homer and Marge are hosting, so Lisa offers him eggnog. Grampa then decides to tell them what he thinks is the origin of eggnog:
In the story, in Biblical times, a man who looked like Homer sees a pink, chickenlike bird with a cow's head, that makes a "Nog! Nog!" noise. He names her "Noggy", and when she lays eggs, he tastes them and enjoys it. The Homer-like man, who is revealed to be a shepherd, then sells them at the local market and makes lots of money.
At the North Pole, a Hans Moleman-esque elf gives an egg to Santa, who looks like Grampa, which makes him buff. Then, Santa delivers presents to the world's children and steals Noggy, explaining how he is strong enough to deliver all the presents in one night.
Grampa claims eggnog is bottled and sold to give everyone "a taste of Santa's superpowers", then he douses himself in eggnog, claiming he does this annually in hopes of gaining eternal youth, to the other Simpsons' disgust.
'Tisn't the Season[]
Mayor Quimby announces the first day of winter, which excites Homer (because of Duff's holiday brews), Lisa (because she wants to see a rare sparrow), and Bart (because he wants to sled). Quimby and Duffman then light up an artificial Christmas tree as a symbol of winter.
A month later, however, Kent Brockman reports that everyone is in a gloomy mood because it hasn't snowed (and Frink cannot explain why). As such, Martin isn't in the mood to carol, eggnog isn't selling, Moleman can't make a snow angel, and Milhouse feels lame in his Christmas sweater. He tries to sled anyway, but gets bruised, and Nelson doesn't even laugh, feeling his laugh sounds too much like "Ho ho ho".
At home, Bart sulks because of the lack of snow, while Homer is also sulking, because the Kwik-E-Mart still hasn't stocked Duff's holiday brews (Apu claims it is because the water supply is contaminated). Marge is also feeling glum as she feels it isn't sentimental enough without the snow or the lit fireplace, though Lisa is optimistic, since they at least have one another.
Later, however, she also becomes glum, due to the sparrows flying into Shelbyville (which is indeed snowy) instead. Ralph can't ice skate as the ice has melted, Lenny and Carl are stuck building mudmen in their image instead of snowmen, and Moe is raging at the Christmas tree. Lisa goes to Ned, who is still happy for the most part, along with his sons. The Flanderses aren't completely satisfied, however, since it is too warm for hot cocoa.
Lisa then wonders if someone is deliberately causing it not to snow, so she goes to Sideshow Bob, but he also misses the snow, since the lack of it is causing the jail staff to continue to play autumn music rather than switching to winter music. She then goes to Fat Tony, but he didn't do it, since he uses snow to hide bodies in. Then, she goes to Mr. Burns and Smithers, but they deny pollution as a cause, since they have been using less energy this season (and Smithers swears by Malibu Stacy that he's telling the truth).
After some thought that night, Lisa wonders if Frink took the snow, feeling he'd benefit the most. She confronts him, and he reveals that it is his fault, albeit not on purpose: the Mayor asked him to make the tree exceptionally bright, so he used a radioactive substance called "Frinkium nitrate", which powered the tree but the radiation caused it not to snow.
As such, Lisa has Quimby take down the tree, and it thankfully snows after twelve seconds, making everyone happy again. Frink promises not to mess with the holidays again, but breaks his promise four months later, creating giant Easter bunnies.
Grampa's Christmas Origins: Christmas Trees[]
Bart and Lisa are practicing Christmas tree decorating by decorating Grampa. Grampa is bored and achy, so Bart suggests he distract himself by telling them how Christmas trees came to be, so he does.
The story begins with Marco Polo (who resembles Moe) returning to Italy from China. He has stolen a firework for each of his friends as Christmas presents, but when they (who look like Homer and Barney) demand many gifts, Polo sheepishly buries them behind a walnut tree. The friends, accompanied by Lenny and Carl lookalikes, arrive at the tree. Then, the Barney lookalike drops his flaming torch and lets off the fireworks, starting the tradition of lighting up trees.
In reality, Homer finds that the store has run out of Christmas trees, so the family must keep using Grampa.
Hole Lotta Trouble[]
Bart, Milhouse, Nelson, Sherri, Terri, Jimbo, Kearney, Dolph, Lewis, and Richard are having a snowball fight in the park. Bart sees Homer's old snowplow, but when he goes to get it, he falls into a hole where Martin is. Then, Milhouse falls in as well.
They try to climb out, but are stopped by Nelson, Jimbo (who reveals that he was the one who dug the pit), Kearney, and Dolph. The three stuck boys try to think of a way out, but cannot. Bart then finds liquid and initially thinks Milhouse wet his pants, but then realises his glasses are melting the snow. Thus, the boys get the idea to dig their way out, using Milhouse's glasses to melt the snow.
When Bart digs himself out, he throws a snowball at Jimbo. Then, Milhouse and Martin show up and the three of them snowball all four bullies. The bullies chase after the other three boys, wanting to attack them, but fall into their own hole.
Chest Guts Roasting[]
Itchy and Scratchy are roasting marshmallows, but Itchy runs out, so he impales Scratchy with sticks. Scratchy runs out, but then deer hunters mistake the sticks for antlers and shoot him to death. Then, Itchy mounts Scratchy's head on the wall.
Trivia[]
- The mistletoe is inaccurately drawn; it has red berries, while real mistletoe berries are white.
- Milhouse wears a Spiderman mask.
- Bart references Wile-E-Coyote and the Roadrunner by saying, "Meep meep!" when running away from Terri.
- Homer's "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" parody references Winnie-the-Pooh by having the lyrics "And a flappy Pooh Bear".
- The named guests at Ned's Christmas social were the Simpsons, the Hibberts, Captain McAllister, Comic Book Guy, the Wiggums, Lenny, Carl, and the Lovejoys.
- It is revealed that winter is Homer's favourite season, because it is when Duff releases its holiday beers.
- Kent Brockman references the song "Winter Wonderland" by saying, "A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight? Hardly. Kent Brockman here, walking in a winter wasteland." On the same page, Martin almost sings "Joy to the World" but gives up.
- It is revealed that Ned thinks espresso is sinful.
- Lisa mentions having read Nancy Drew.
- The only characters not shown to be made unhappy by the lack of snow were Quimby and Apu.
- According to Bart, Milhouse peed in a pool last summer.