'Round Springfield
The Springfield Connection
Lemon of Troy
Chief Wiggum: Becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.

Marge: Be careful! These are dangerous streets for us upper-lower-middle-class types!

Bart: Wow, Mom! I never pictured you as any kind of authority figure before!

Homer: You've become such a cop! Not that long ago, you were so much more to me! You were a cleaner of pots, a sewer of buttons, an unplugger of hairy clogs!
Marge: I'm still all those things. Only now I'm cleaning up the city, sewing together the social fabric, and unplugging the clogs of our legal system.
Homer: You're cooking what for dinner?

Homer: Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy I thought it'd be fun and exciting! You know, like that movie, Spaceballs! Instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy!

Homer: You being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman! And I have no interest in that. Besides occasionally wearing the underwear which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.

Marge: Don't stop talking on account of me. I may be a cop, but I'm still your friend. So how are you, Ms. Krabappel?
Edna: Law-abiding.

Lisa: Mom, was catching that guy the most exciting thing you've ever done?
Marge: Well, it was pretty exciting. But celery soup's pretty exciting too!

Marge: I got a report on a domestic disturbance at this address.
Seymour Skinner: Yes, indeed there is. There's an inflatable bath pillow that Mother and I both enjoy. She claimed it was her day to use it. I said she was mistaken. We quarreled. Later, as I prepared to bathe I noticed, to my horror, that someone had slashed the pillow.
Marge: Who called the police?
Seymour and Agnes Skinner: We both did.

Lionel Hutz: I'll have you know the contents of that dumpster are private. You stick your nose in, you'll be violating attorney-dumpster confidentiality.

Homer: Marge! (Homer is pulled into the treehouse by Herman, Marge pursues)
Bart and Lisa: (watching from the window) Go get him mom!
Marge: Go back to bed! Don't make me come up there. (They groan, turn the light off, but continue to watch)
Herman: Looks like your wife is embarking up the wrong tree. (aims gun at entrance)
Marge: Freeze! Every mother knows the secret entrance to her son's treehouse. (knocks Herman over, disarming him)
Homer: Oh, Marge, you saved my life! I'm sorry I teased you. You are a really good cop. I'm proud of you.
Herman: So long, gotta catch the 5:01. (Uses counterfeit jeans to slide down a rope)
Homer: He's getting away, you blew it Marge.
Marge: I don't think so. (the jeans rip)
Herman: Oh, foiled by my own shoddy merchandise!

Season 5 Season 6 Quotes Season 7
Bart of DarknessLisa's RivalAnother Simpsons Clip ShowItchy & Scratchy LandSideshow Bob RobertsTreehouse of Horror VBart's GirlfriendLisa on IceHomer BadmanGrampa vs. Sexual InadequacyFear of FlyingHomer the GreatAnd Maggie Makes ThreeBart's CometHomie the ClownBart vs. AustraliaHomer vs. Patty and SelmaA Star is BurnsLisa's WeddingTwo Dozen and One GreyhoundsThe PTA Disbands'Round SpringfieldThe Springfield ConnectionLemon of TroyWho Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.