Leonard Nimoy: I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.
Squeaky-Voiced Teen: I'm Leonard Nimoy, goodnight, and keep watching the skis! ... I mean, skies.
Mulder: What's the point of this experiment? (Homer is running on a treadmill, in only his underpants.)
Scully: No point, I just thought he could stand to lose some weight.
Mulder: His jiggling is almost hypnotic!
Scully: (mesmerized voice) Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
Mulder: Look at this Scully. There's been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.
Scully: Well, gee Mulder. There's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
Mulder: I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.
Dr. Nick Rivera: Don't worry. You won't feel a thing...
(exhibiting a swirling mechanical device)
Dr. Nick Rivera: ...till I jam this down your throat!
Homer: I don't see any Homer is a Dope t-shirts anywhere, Lisa.