El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)
The Springfield Files
The Twisted World of Marge Simpson
Bart: (telling a scary story) ...and that's how much money college will cost for Maggie.
Homer: No... no... NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Homer: This Friday, we're going back to the woods. And we're going to find that alien.
Bart: And if we don't?
Homer: We'll fake it and sell it to the FOX network.
Bart and Homer laugh.
Bart: They'll buy anything!
Homer: Now, son, they do a lot of quality programming too.
Bart and Homer laugh even harder than before.

Lisa: All right! It's time for ABC's T.G.I.F. line-up!
Bart: Lis, when you get a little older, you'll learn that Friday's just another day between NBC's Must-See Thursday and CBS's Saturday Night Crap-O-Rama.

Mr. Burns: La la, la la la la (skips off into the woods)
Dr. Nick: The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money.

Mr Burns: Yes, and now that I'm back to normal I don't bring you peace and love I bring you hate and...
Dr Nick: Time for a booster! (Jabs needle in Burns)
Mr Burns: (in happy state) Good morning starshine, the earth says hello...

Homer: (in Moe's, drunk, whilst recreating his movements when he saw the Alien) So I says, blue M&M, red M&M... They all wind up the same color in the end.

Homer: Oh, Marge, I've never felt so alone. No one believes me. (pause) Uh, this is the part where you're supposed to say, "I believe you, Homer."
Marge: I don't believe you, Homer.
Homer: You do? Oh, Marge, you've made me so happy.
Marge: You're not listening. You're only hearing what you want to hear.
Homer: Thanks! I'd love an omelet right about now.

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice, like Urkel. And he appears every Friday night, like Urkel!
Chief Wiggum: Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass... I mean, Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter. (He makes typewriting notions and mumbles nonchalantly.)
Homer: You don't have to humiliate me.
(Homer leaves, and an arsonist enters.)
Arsonist: I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it again!
Chief Wiggum: Yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter. (Again, he makes typewriting notions and mumbles nonchalantly, just like he did with Homer.)

Marge: Have you been drinking?
Homer: No! Well, ten beers.

Leonard Nimoy: I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.

Squeaky-Voiced Teen: I'm Leonard Nimoy, goodnight, and keep watching the skis! ... I mean, skies.

Mulder: What's the point of this experiment? (Homer is running on a treadmill, in only his underpants.)
Scully: No point, I just thought he could stand to lose some weight.
Mulder: His jiggling is almost hypnotic!
Scully: (mesmerized voice) Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

Mulder: Look at this Scully. There's been another unsubstantiated UFO sighting in the heartland of America. We've got to get there right away.
Scully: Well, gee Mulder. There's also this report of a shipment of drugs and illegal weapons coming into New Jersey tonight.
Mulder: I hardly think the FBI is concerned with matters like that.

Dr. Nick Rivera: Don't worry. You won't feel a thing...
(exhibiting a swirling mechanical device)
Dr. Nick Rivera: ...till I jam this down your throat!
Homer: I don't see any Homer is a Dope t-shirts anywhere, Lisa.
Store guy: Those were sold out five minutes ago.
Homer: D'oh!

Scully: This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes-or-no questions, and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. [lie detector explodes]

Season 7 Season 8 Quotes Season 9
Treehouse of Horror VIIYou Only Move TwiceThe Homer They FallBurns, Baby BurnsBart After DarkA Milhouse DividedLisa's Date with DensityHurricane NeddyEl Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer)The Springfield FilesThe Twisted World of Marge SimpsonMountain of MadnessSimpsoncalifragilisticexpiala-D'oh-ciousThe Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie ShowHomer's PhobiaBrother from Another SeriesMy Sister, My SitterHomer vs. the Eighteenth AmendmentGrade School ConfidentialThe Canine MutinyThe Old Man and the LisaIn Marge We TrustHomer's EnemyThe Simpsons Spin-Off ShowcaseThe Secret War of Lisa Simpson
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