Marge: What to do now? Too crazy to go outside, not crazy enough to have imaginary friends.
Bart: Ew! Mom, I think Maggie fudged her Huggies!
Marge: Bart, don't say it like that, you'll hurt her feelings. (sniffs) (gags) Geez, Louise! How did you turn cinnamon applesauce into that?!
(Maggie points to Lisa)
Lisa: Don't try to pin this on me sister.
Nelson: (to Bart and Lisa) Ha-ha! Your mom changed!
Marge: I do miss being a lady.
Homer: And I miss being your knight in flabby armor.
Ruth Powers: (to Marge) Steroids aren't drugs. They occur naturally in the body like sweat or tumors!
Apu: (after smelling Maggie's diaper) That is the most pungent thing I've ever smelled and I am from India.
Homer: (while eating dinner in the basement) It's like we're at Cheers. I loved that show because you always knew it was only a half-hour till Wings. Then you could just sleep till Monday.
Homer: (to Marge) Somewhere in that sea of bull hormones is the sweet, wonderful girl I married. The woman who instead of swatting a fly would give it a bath and send it on its way. I'd sure like to go home and have Jiffy Pop with her.
Marge: Grampa, I'm not afraid!
Grampa: Then you're not paying close enough attention!
Marge: (to Homer in bed) Hey, hot stuff, I've got a competition tomorrow. I could use a "good luck snuggle."
Homer: I'd rather talk about our feelings! I feel that illegal performance-enhancing drugs are too common these days. Rebuttal--
Marge: (pins Homer down) Let's do it!
Homer: (nervously) Listen, my bulky flower, I have an early day tomorrow and--
Marge: (sternly) I wasn't asking. (Homer whimpers nervously)
(After Marge finishes in 2nd place in the competition)
Bart: Second place!? Oh man, this will just encourage her!
Lisa: I'm tired of her criticizing my saggy glutes.
Homer: Quiet! Her muscular ears can hear us!
(Marge's ears pick up the sound of her family's disappointment. She groans accordingly)