Apu: Over, under, round and round so your feet won't touch the ground. (He throws the noose rope over a pipe) Now, let's see what awaits me in the next life. (He looks over a reincarnation chart) First I was a tiger, a snake, a Clod, a goat with a hat, then me. (Looks at his next incarnations) Hoo, a tapeworm, then assistant to Lorne Michaels! It's going to be a rough couple of lifetimes.
Homer: (to Apu) I saw you and that Squishee Lady canoodling like junkyard rabbits!
(At the Civil War re-enactment)
Principal Skinner: Hey you dead people, stop playing cards! And Stonewall Jackson, stop rollerblading!
Disco Stu: The south will boogie again!
Manjula: Not tonight. I said, not tonight! Wait, something's wrong, why aren't you pressuring me for sex?
Apu: Oh, I'm just happy to lie here appreciating and respecting you.
Manjula: Okay, buster, what is going on?
Apu: Nothing. How can you even accuse me of repeated infidelity? Oh, I'm so angry I could just, I could fall asleep.
Homer: Nothing, nothing, there's nothing eating me up inside.
(Homer's eyeball is twitching and moving all over the place)
Marge: Oh, it must be something big. Something you did? Something you saw. (gasps) Apu is having an affair?
Homer: I know! Can you believe it? Oh, Manjula is just going to die.
Homer: The Squishee Lady! Oh my god. I know you must get this all the time, but can I suggest a flavor.
Squishee Lady: Go ahead.
Apu: Please, could you just take the children home? The porno magazine buyers are too embarrassed to make their move. Look.
Homer: You can run, but you can't glide!
Marge: Manjula, come quick! The octuplets learned their first word!