Homer: It's not all your fault. All these years I've watched you turn our son into a time bomb and yet I did nothing. So in a way, I too am a victim. Of you!
Mayor Quimby: [To a young woman he is with] Remember, if anyone asks, you're my niece from out of town.
Young Woman: I am your niece, Uncle Joe.
Mayor Quimby: [horrified with self] Good Lord! I'm an abomination!
Homer: I believe that children are our future... unless we stop them now!
Chief Wiggum: Take a good long look at the innocent love in your son's eyes, cause when he gets out of prison, it'll be gone forever. You'll have great bod though, and a couple of those teardrop tattoos. Those are cool.