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Homer: (Munch)... Kettlecorn, the heroin of the Farmers Market
- Marge: How would you feel if we sold something to someone that turned out to be valuable?
- Homer: I would feel A: happy for their good fortune, B: proud to know rich people and C: grateful for an opportunity to learn from a mistake.
- Marge: How about this: What if we give the Van Houtens 25% of the money?
- Homer: Then they'll just be mad about the 65% we're keeping!
- Sideshow Mel: (Points at the Simpson family) There they are! The masterpiece thievers!
- Moe: Aw, shut your blowhole! That paintin' belongs to the Simpsons!
- Snake Jailbird: Sharing is what makes the community strong.
- Apu: All sales are final!
- Moe: Finders keepers, moron! (Everyone continues to argue)
- Homer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Marge: Ugh, Homer Simpson, that painting has torn the town apart, destroyed Kirk and Luann's marriage, and everyone's very worried about Milhouse!
- Bart: He's been playing Dancing Revolution for hours but the TV is off.
- (cuts to Milhouse who is randomly stepping on buttons)
- Klaus Ziegler: You only cared about that painting when you thought it was created by someone famous.
- Lisa: Well, no, but now when I look at it, all I see is a fraud.
- Klaus Ziegler: Beauty is beauty. My forgeries give pleasure to people all over the world.